SYNOPSIS:
Ten writers are selected for a summer-long writing retreat with the most celebrated and reclusive author in the world. Their host is the legendary Roderick Wells. Handsome, enigmatic, and fiendishly talented, Wells promises to teach his pupils about writing, about magic, about the untapped potential that each of them possesses. Most of all, he plans to teach them about the darkness in their hearts. The writers think they are signing up for a chance at riches and literary prestige. But they are really entering the twisted imagination of a deranged genius, a lethal contest pitting them against one another in a struggle for their sanity and their lives. They have entered into Roderick Wells’s most brilliant and horrible creation: The Dark Game. The setup is very Agatha Christie, and I'm a sucker for "small group of people trapped in a house and bad things happen" plots. Creepy writer's workshop is an added bonus. I loved what this one had to say about creativity and the eternity of the written word, for good or bad. Lines/reactions: ((spoilers beyond this point)) 'She chewed a thumbnail, a hundred horror movies flashing through her head. Why was it always a woman who got hacked to pieces?' I constantly ask the same, Lucy. -- 'Bryan's smirk faded. "I write fact-based survival stories." A corner of Tommy's mouth rose. "Personality like yours, I bet you know a lot about being alone." OHHHHH. (also, I hate alpha-male bullshit like Bryan's. 'next time make sure you don't insult a collegiate wrestler' oh my GOD just go jerk off to a confederate flag somewhere and leave the rest of humanity alone -- 'He wasn't, but he'd rather catheterize himself with a lit sparkler than discuss politics.' lol -- 'Because something is following me, and half the reason I'm here is to escape it?' Hey maybe whatever is following you can eat Bryan instead -- "Why, so they can ask me what went wrong?" Anna sobered. "Your critics can fuck themselves." ilu, Anna. Though you do have a bit of an I'm Your #1 Fan! vibe. -- 'No doubt cataloging some piece of minutiae with which to annoy future readers.' Perfect. -- "You need to get in shape," Bryan called over his shoulder. And you need to take a long walk off a short pier. -- "Before we proceed, you must submit yourselves to me. You must prepare to withstand extreme conditions, both physical and emotional." He's going to suck out your souls so he can maintain eternal life RUN -- oh man that prize though -- "Just what the hell did happen to the other nine writers in the first contest?" What did I just say? Souls got eaten, try to keep up. -- "If you lose, there are always the pills," her agent's voice reminded her. ... "I gave you your shot, and you blew it. You let us all down, little lady." oh sweetheart get yourself a new agent this one is a dick -- (he's not a man) oh shit -- "If you bow at the altar of the right person, you're accorded privileges." She glanced at Lucy. "Like big advances and glowing reviews." C'mon, Elaine, don't be that passive-aggressive asshat. -- 'Elaine gaped at him. She glanced from face to face, searching for an ally.' If not for the aforementioned sniping at your fellow writers, you might have one. -- 'Bryan looked pleadingly at the others, but no one came to his defense.' this is my shocked face -- oookay I thought Anna was an obsessive fan but no, she's SO much worse. -- 'Evan Laydon sniffed and told them his story idea was 'upmarket' and 'high-concept', whatever the hell that meant.' I bet it means a college professor main character has a wrought affair with a student. -- "You have any idea how illegible my handwriting is?" I hear you, Will. -- "It's called The Siren and the Specter" heh -- "I'm not going to discover you sunbathing naked, am I?" "I prefer a two-piece." <3 -- 'No way had Clayton bedded as many girls as Tommy had." Yawn. Just whip them out and measure already, guys. -- 'Suzy, who was seventeen but had the mental capacity of a four-year old.' okay I hate Bryan but you get to die first -- oh Suzy sweetheart -- 'but the memories far, far worse' Yeah, poor baby. Truly, you are the one who suffered here. -- "I'm already comfortable in your presence." BARF -- This scene with Marek and the cop is goddamned terrifying -- 'the man looked younger than he had in the library' I TOLD YOU. SOUL-EATER. -- "I know you had issues with reality, but I never guessed they were this severe." you gaslighting s.o.b. -- "Am I wrong?" "About Bryan and Tommy?" Will asked. "Probably not. About all men.." not the time, Will -- I love Sherilyn. -- "He's all bluster," Will said. Famous last etc. -- ...Rick's mom is a badass -- "Was it illegal when he was only twenty?" I. Hate. You. So. Much. -- 'But like I said, I was only seventeen, and if seventeen sounds old enough to you, please not that Zendie was already twenty-eight.' Ohhhh, Sherilyn. I will not only bitchslap him, I will bitchslap your mom for encouraging this. -- "One secret for every article of clothing." Yeah. All bluster. Nothing to see here. -- 'but the brass door handles gleamed like they'd just been installed' THE HOUSE EATS SOULS TOO -- "Escape now." O_______o -- The thing in the crate from Creepshow! <3 -- ngl I really want Sherilyn to get that money -- 'He still needs water, Will thought.' oh sweetie. Given what type of book this is, you're not going to be rewarded for this, but you're a good kid. -- "I'm not going to tell on you." ...oh SHIT. -- oh god why are Anna and Bryan teaming up they're horrible enough on their own -- 'Could I have stopped what happened to you?' Ummm...yes. -- 'Great girl. Might be the one. But so frigid. So insensitive to his needs.' You have two hands for a reason, Jake. Also, go to hell. -- Justine! :( -- 'She could be abrasive at times, but this? No one deserved this.' Wellllllll (he is technically right, though; she deserves worse) -- "You're our host, not our warden." I like you Sherilyn please run -- "What do you know of power?" "I know that a truly strong person doesn't use it to intimidate." Riiiick. <3 -- "I'm happy to say you behaved exactly as I thought you would." SHERILYN. MY HEART IS YOURS. -- "You just ripped my manuscript apart. I want to make sure Sherilyn is held to the same standards." Lucy glared at Anna. "Why wouldn't she be?" "Her race," Bryan said. As if you two don't suck enough already -- ...okay Evan you've convinced me you can die now. -- yay -- things are ratcheted up to eleven and we are halfway through the book. *bites nails* -- all right, Will's being brought into the group! -- I really, really hope that Justine's ghost shows up and throws Anna from the roof. -- Jack Ketchum! <3 -- "Fuck fear." I'm just going to assume this is from an actual conversation with Ketchum. -- 'He shook his head. "Lucy doesn't need to be saved." Good man. -- Will NO you're a good guy and that is going to get you killed. -- "You were only, what, a third of the way in?" oh Rick honey no. -- okay so as someone with suicidal ideation this scene with Lucy's attempted suicide is HARD. -- "Anti-anxiety," she said. Thought about it. "There's irony in there somewhere." oh sweetie -- "You should not mock me," the maid said. HOLY SHIT -- Will nooooo -- 'of young tourists attacked by carnivorous plants inside an ancient ruin' I understood that reference! -- Will you're alive! -- 'Was it any less than he deserved?' Honey, 1) you were a kid, and 2) he raped and murdered people. 'that poor man' nah -- since you're punchy and hurting I will forgive you the 'gypsy curse' thing. If you get out of this, learn about the fact that that's a racial slur -- "I was a monster," Bates said. "But damned if I was born that way." *Jake Peralta voice* Cool motive, still murder. -- GET HIM LUCY -- Lucy grinned. "Am I wicked-looking?" "You look like a drowned muskrat." Heh -- 'Will said, "I'll go in first." Lucy just gave him a look.' "We can talk about sexism in survival situations when I get back"-- Ellie Sattler, ultimate role model -- 'He could, however, try to vanquish Wells in The Magical King.' He's gonna write his way out. I love it. -- Will stared up at Wells, breath heaving. Then, his face seemed to clear. "You lose, Mr. Wells." Good on you, Will. -- Oh good, new agent. -- Is the Fred Astaire murders villain still out there like Wells said? -- yessssss at least Sherilyn got her wish -- "I was just wondering what it's like to expend so much energy wishing failure on others." THAT'S MY GIRL -- ....question answered.
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A WORLD WITH A BLUER SUNMy reviews are set up a little like live-tweets: I write down lines I like/impressions as I read, and then transcribe. Reviews will contain spoilers, but I'll give a warning before they start. Archives
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