SYNOPSIS: Aside from a quaint amusement park, the small town of Lakeview offers little excitement for Duane, Savannah, and their friends. They’re about to endure their ten-year high school reunion when their lives are shattered by the arrival of an ancient, vengeful evil.
The werewolf. The first attack leaves seven dead and four wounded. And though the beast remains on the loose and eager to spill more blood, the sleepy resort town is about to face an even greater terror. Because the four victims of the werewolf’s fury are changing. They’re experiencing unholy desires and unimaginable cravings. They’ll prey on the innocent and the depraved. They’ll settle old scores and act on their basest desires. Soon, they’ll plunge the entire town into nightmare. Lakeview is about to become Wolf Land. WEREWOLVES!!! One of my first horror loves, and in a book written by Jonathan Janz (who's more than made my auto-buy list). I knew I'd love this one, and I did, but there are a couple of caveats I need to add for other readers. An author's note at the beginning says, "This one, friends, is dark-- probably darker than anything I've ever written." I wrote in my notebook, "fingers crossed this refers to level of violence and not sexual assault". I now laugh sadly at my former self, because HOLY SHIT. People with rape triggers will want to be careful of this one. A lead character suffers extreme sexual abuse at the hands of her father and brothers, and there are references/memories of child molestation. There's a lot of misogyny in general here, from the horrifying example above to the more commonplace "not allllll men hey I'm a nice guy why won't you date me" variety. It's not rewarded by the text in any way, the people who deserve a comeuppance most certainly get one, but it's still a rough read. That said, I'm a huge fan of Janz's writing style-- the characters always feel real, whether you're rooting for them or hoping they get cannonballed into the sun-- and I know to time reading his endings after the kids go to bed because the final battle scenes move like bullets and Mom Is Not Getting Interrupted Thanks. This is a fast-paced, almost splatterpunk style read, and if you know you can handle the stuff mentioned above then absolutely grab a copy. Again, werewolves. ;) Quotes/Lines: ((spoilers below!)) -- Awww, the dedication. Jack Ketchum. <3 -- ...I like the sound of the Antonov sisters and hope they're referenced again, though the blonde, black and red hair has me picturing the Hocus Pocus witches oops -- "You had sex with girls back in high school, Glenn. What makes it so different now?" Die by werewolf, Weezer. And yes, Duane, why *do* you hang out with him? His scintillating conversational skills and enviable morals? -- "That's the problem with the world," Weezer said meditatively. "Not enough honesty. I say what's on my mind, and you two get all high and mighty on me." Throw him from the carrrrrr -- Oh Duane, sweetie, I'm sorry your parents were dickheads (you still need to throw Weezer from the car though) -- So, Mike, you lie to an 18-year old and tell her you're her age instead of 22. You lie to women about what you've actually been through to get them to sleep with you. Also, 'hot Hispanic chick'? 'some skank'? You're fucking gross, stay away from Savannah. -- So far Barb is my favorite -- oh god why are in Weezer's pov he's loathsome enough I don't need to be seeing his creepy-ass thoughts -- "Here's what's going to happen," she said slowly. "You're going to walk away and not talk to me again tonight." Her eyes swept him up and down. "Preferably not ever. I'm not interested in you. At all. Does that make sense?" HOT DAMN MELODY I LOVE YOU -- 'Duane hoped Melody hadn't been too vicious with him.' WHY? Why would you hope that when you *know* what he's like?? -- Aw, Joyce. *hugs* -- 'It was Glenn's friend, the one who looked like he'd own a Confederate flag.' OHHHHHHH -- 'Joyce took a moment to appraise him more carefully.' Nope, do *not* go down that road, you had it right the first time. -- 'Nor would it help to point out that Melody was a walking petri dish who was probably carrying about thirty strands of venereal disease.' Yes. Please denigrate another woman to soothe this predator of high-school girls. Good choice. -- oh good Weezer just went into the woods alone heeeeere werewolf -- GAH MIKE. ((also Glenn, damn. I have some problems with your choice of friends but that was honorable. Good on you.)) -- "Won't you flee so I can experience the pleasure of running you down?" Yeah, that'd be time for 'I don't have to outrun the werewolf, I just have to outrun you'. See ya, former classmates, I'm already gone -- Joyce, as much as I appreciate the 'I have to try' sentiment, you are gonna die -- Savannah just choked a werewolf with barbed wire I'm gonna propose -- "Run," he muttered to Savannah. "Fuck you," she said.' **heart eyes** -- oh no Melody is a werewolf now nooooo -- 'It was common knowledge she'd known a lot of guys. Not that Duane had ever enjoyed the privilege.' NOT THE TIME DUDE. -- Okay so Glenn, Melody, and Joyce are all wounded but still alive. According to the back cover, that leaves one more to turn. -- NO not Weezer he's awful enough without getting werewolf strength come on -- oh MELODY. It's okay, you're a werewolf now, go eat your brothers -- shit, your dad too. Eviscerate him he deserves it. -- oh god the possum ew ew EW -- Bubba Ho-Tep! <3 <3 <3 -- "Who's in it?" "Bruce Campbell." "Who?" *gasp* SAVANNAH. -- okay unless Melody goes full wolf and murders the hell out of her family I do *not* want to read the pole barn scene I'm just gonna skim until I see justified violence -- "Why're you growling, girl?" KILL 'EM ALL, SWEETHEART -- what no why are they still alive dammit -- "I've been good to you, Savannah. I've treated you like an honest-to-goodness person." Soooo now that you've been nice you get sex? -- "It's certainly my business because I've been the one who's treated you with respect." Just stop while you're way behind, Duane. -- "I was the one who stayed behind, who held you while you bawled." Her eyes narrowed. "And you did it all out of the kindness of your heart, didn't you? You didn't have any ulterior motive." GET HIM. -- "No matter what he does, all guys are evil sex maniacs." Evil sex maniacs? Nope. Some liable to fall for "waaaaah I'm a Nice Guy why won't you sleep with me and give me a chance" bullshit? Yep. -- "But it's possible," he pressed on, "that guys can be good people too." Not any of the ones in this book. gtfo with your whiny entitled 'no *you're* the superficial one' bullshit. And if you so much as think the word 'friendzone'... -- "That'd be fitting," he said, "since I'm the one who got him to sleep." You did NOT just... Do you want a goddamn cookie? She's been taking care of her child for *years* and you think an hour of bedtime stories makes you a hero? -- okay no I'm not done you want her to know you're a good guy, that you're trustworthy, but you're close friends with someone like Weezer? That tells her that *you* are unsafe, because you don't care enough about the hateful shit he says to ever give him consequences. -- 'But Mya knew she had a great body, and that could often contaminate what was between the ears.' Go meet a silver bullet, Glenn. -- ((I do however agree that Patricia Arquette in True Romance was *amazing*. I haven't seen that in forever. Need to rewatch sometime.)) -- 'on his own he knew he'd never have the guts to separate one of them from the herd' THEY'RE NOT GAZELLES, DICK. -- 'Was the man gay?....How did one go about turning down a homosexual proposition?' Y'know what, I...yeah. Go away, Duane. Keep going. Further... -- Duane as a kid painting the picture window white the protect the birds is so sweet. -- "Oh, shut up for a second, would you? You're either staring at my tits or treating me like I'm the Queen of England. Just pretend I'm a person for once." SAVANNAH. -- "Great," Duane said. "Time to trot out the negative male stereotypes." "Duane?" "What?" "Shut your goddamned mouth." "What if I don't want to?" "I'll rip off your nut sack and drop it down the garbage disposal." We're going to have a spring wedding. -- "It's like I need a goddamned translator." No you don't. You just don't want to hear what she's saying. Shut up and take the opportunity, because she didn't have to give you this chance. -- "We didn't choose this. .... But we can make the most of it." Um, Joyce? Honey? You okay over there? -- Melody!! Hi sweetheart -- "I know what she's trying to say," Barb said, "because she said it. We don't need you to interpret for us." BARB c'mere I'm gonna hug you -- Man, the rest of that chapter. Barb you are my current favorite please live -- "I'm tired, Joyce. Down to my bones. I want some rest. Plus, I think I ate a muskrat." *cackling* -- someone go shoot Weezer repeatedly and *fast* -- "Please don't hurt me" too fucking late for that you abusive s.o.b. die horribly and take most of your kids with you -- oh shit Melody *no* you deserve a chance at life without them -- Short Pump ((Duane)) glared at Barb. "What do you have against him? You ever talked to him?" YOU HAVE. You know what Weezer's like; you know that she's right. -- "Why not appeal to my better nature? Maybe I'll spare you if I see the error of my ways." "I don't need sparing." godDAMN Barb -- This fight scene holy shit -- 'And even if Weezer had spoken offensively to Savannah, at heart he was the same tortured kid he'd always been.' 1) IF?!?!? 2) yes, yes, poor baby, bullied as a kid and so had no choice but to grow up and become a misogynistic predator. I'm crying for him right now. -- I was hoping they were the Three! -- oh god Jessica and the kiddos *are* dead dammit Weezer why are you still alive -- Joyce is so damn brave. -- Duane hitting a werewolf with a chair. You dumbass. <3 -- BARB. I'm composing your superhero theme song as we speak -- ohhhhh shit we found Joyce's trigger -- MELODY FUCK YEAHHHHH -- 'Duane glanced down at Barb's bloody shirt, and wondered how the woman wasn't dead yet.' Because Barb, that's how. -- noooooooo I can't believe I have to go around with a 'Justice for Barb' pin AGAIN -- 'To kill Weezer, which wouldn't be such a loss.' I love that you're snarky even as a werewolf, Melody. -- 'And by God, Melody thought, she wasn't escaping from one prison to willfully enter another. Fuck that." If Melody dies I riot. -- Joyce. You did so, so well. -- 'Enabler. The word imprinted itself in his mind's eye. You're an enabler. You're part of the problem, one of the reasons why scum like Weezer end up victimizing innocent kids.' Good, NOW you get it! -- NO Savannah never turn your back until it's definitely dead did you never watch Halloween -- Duane a whole bunch of children are about to be massacred this may not be the time to make notes on a woman's butt -- 'With a start, Duane realized Weezer was eyeballing the children. His chest was heaving, there was an unwholesome look in his eyes. And...holy shit. Weezer had an erection.' So we're done defending him now? Maybe should've listened to Barb and Savannah when they told you what he was? Should've listened to Weezer himself when he made comment after comment? DO BETTER NEXT TIME assuming you live through this -- Miss Hayward you'd better get Teacher of the Year -- 'You should have helped him see more. You should have believed in him.' Not your job. You were busy raising a kid, and he was still hanging around Weezer. He's an adult. -- Wolf Land, in which Savannah, Our Lady of Improvised Weaponry, fights off a werewolf with a goddamned BELT -- 'He had just about resolved to drop-kick the yellow werewolf in the face like some flabby Caucasian Bruce Lee' *snerk* -- Melody stopped to make sure the dogs didn't starve I love 1) amazing werewolf.
0 Comments
SYNOPSIS: Since 1985, over 500 overweight teenagers have come to Camp Wašíču, looking to lose weight, gain self-confidence, and turn their lives around.
Phillip McCracken arrives, weighing in at almost 400 pounds; but the baggage he carries from the past affects him much more deeply than the numbers of the scale. When a homicidal maniac hell-bent on revenge attacks, Phillip will be forced to either find the courage to save the people around him or fall victim to his own self-doubt… … and possibly a machete. Filled with allusions to the Slasher films of yesteryear, Fat Camp delivers horror, humor, and a little slice of nostalgia for anyone who grew up even slightly afraid of the dark. I admit to a bias when starting this book, because I think "fat camps" are inherently abusive places for kids/teens, and cause way more issues than they solve. My main worry was that this was going to end up being another 'aren't things sooo much better now that you're skinny?' book (I've been burned before). The dedication: "This book is dedicated to anyone who has lived with an eating disorder or found any other reason not to smile while looking in the mirror. I hope you find a way to see the beauty that others see in you. It's taken me years and I still only see it occasionally but it's definitely there..." went a long way toward easing my mind. There's a *lot* of fat-shaming in this book, but I didn't feel it was supported by the narrative. The lead does lose weight in the end, but not so much that it's "magically skinny", and it's therapy that seems to do the most good for him, not being yelled at by Gunnery Sergeant Hartman 2.0. In fact, it was only when he got positive support rather than shaming that he changed his mind about bailing on the camp entirely. ((of course, your mileage may vary)) In the end, I loved the four main kids. They struck me as real teenagers: flawed, insecure as all hell, 98% bravado. ((I am no longer a teenager, though, so again-- ymmv) The cover really reminded me of Gahan Wilson's art and I adore that. Quotes/lines: ((spoilers below!)) -- we are one page in and I already want to slap the hell out of Phillip's mom. "Just because I cooked enough for six people doesn't mean you have to eat enough for five." *trebuchet into the sun* -- ...I'm putting Sarge in the trebuchet too -- Why in the fuck is this creep making references to Phillip masturbating and talking about his penis; this is a *kid*. -- "I don't think she means to be rude." Awww, hon. Your mom's an adult. She needs to take responsibility for the shit she's saying. -- 'the weathered wooden cut out of a slim looking teenager holding his 'fat pants' to show how much weight he'd supposedly lost' oh yeah this place is a *treat* -- "I think there will come a day when you'll look back on your time here at Fit Camp with fondness" yeahhhh, guy. Okay. (I also really doubt if they interviewed Frank Doyle right now he'd be happily nostalgic either) -- "I'll never understand why he's here." "It's Fit Camp, Phil. He's still got an eating disorder. It's just different than ours." Thank you, Seth. -- "The real word ain't going to coddle them" oh god he's one of THOSE. (does the thought that these kids haven't been "coddled" at all, that their lives haven't exactly been sunshine and lollipops given that our society worships thinness occur to him? Nahhhh) -- "No offense, Timothy, but do you have any idea how many calories are in a Snickers? You'd be on the treadmill for years making that up." Seth, don't fall for it kiddo. -- "I hope you got a few good shots in. Way to stand up for yourself for once." Given this guy's previous behavior, this just strikes me as a manipulation tactic. Berate, insult, and then sometimes give praise so the person (TEENS ffs) will want more of that praise. Haaate youuuu -- "What would Bond do, Timothy? Bond would bring us the snacks." "Bond would have an umbrella, you jackass bastards." ILU Timothy -- "Why let me keep breathing instead of someone who was on the planet doing something to help others?" I'm glad his therapist seems to be good, because that is a hell of a lot of survivor's guilt. -- "You need this place. You need the confidence it will give you. You need to embrace it and actually work at it instead of half-assing it every day." *hands Seth 'how to leave a cult' pamphlets* -- "Everyone just pussyfoots around you because your dad died." So he needs a jackass bullying him in order to get better?? He needs therapy to work through control issues and grief and survivor's guilt, not 'haha you're fat' bullshit. -- 'The company used to fly him out for special events and recruitment, but over the past couple years, he started packing on the pounds again. So now they kind of steer clear of him.' Sounds about right. 'You do what the majority of people put on very restrictive diets do? We'll pretend you don't exist'. I'd peg this dude as the killer, but I'd think he would go after the counselors rather than the kids. -- 'A lot of these boys are more or less abandoned here and their families don't so much as pick up a phone all summer. ... most do it out of love'. I call bullshit -- Nice excuse for confiscating the phones, but it's more likely you don't want how you asshats treat the kids going viral. -- I love that he used Stanley and Waldorf as a verb -- omfg Emily that pickup line is *horrible* you're a genius -- 'Apparently, when you didn't view eating healthy as a punishment, it was a lot more appealing.' DING DING DING -- 'in order to get in shape to keep this girl'? She likes you already please trust in that. ((99% of this review could pretty much be me wanting to give Phillip a hug)) -- 'Dr. Munson told us once that food is just fuel. ...when you stop eating food for the flavor and you eat it as the fuel you need' Eff you Dr. Munson food is *tasty* -- "We're fat. We all float, Georgie!" Hoffman you dork. -- The werewolf campfire horror story is fun. -- Ohhh, the not-paintings-but-windows story is a classic. -- Holy shit Nicole that was brilliant and ilu -- Randy and his 'business'. <3 -- "You did good, Waterhouse. You may have just saved some lives." Still don't like you, but maybe you can prove yourself better than you've been so far and keep these kids safe. -- 'Greg leaned in. "Go take a nap, Sarge. I got this." **alarms go off** -- NICE job Vincent -- 'Over half the campers had panicked and run. Through the windows, Sarge saw, to his horror, the residents of Camp Wašíču running in all different directions. And he knew what little hope he'd had of protecting them was gone.' Oh man. -- Seth. <3 -- 'Emily smiled. "I'm in. Let's just get out of here." Ummm...Nicole? Phillip? -- "You all know where you're going. I'll provide a distraction. Just get each other to safety." Vague forgiveness, Sarge. -- Do not answer that walkie-talkie I'm pretty sure Greg and Eric are working together -- "I spent my entire life being pushed around by your type. I'm not doing it anymore. I'm sick of being ashamed of who I am because you don't approve. I am fat. I do jack off constantly. And you know what? I don't give a shit what you think about that." PHILLIP. YOU GEM. -- Sarge, you had *better* do right for this kid. You don't deserve the fact that he cares about you, but he does. -- Yeah, Greg is in on this, that is way too baity of a call. -- "I know what you think I think of you. But you could not be more incorrect." Then *let him see that* before you're potentially dying. Ughhh, 'tough love'. -- So the kid who did everything right and stayed skinny and is So Motivational was entirely made up. ...nice touch -- "What if he comes back for you?" Sarge shrugged. "Then at least he's not with you guys." Okay so you actually had an honest, supportive conversation with Phillip and have the potential to turn your assholery around; please live -- 'my consistent inability to live up to them' You are a *kid*. He shouldn't have laid that on you. --"I thought Greg said she was out of town." I told you that call was shady!! -- "I know Greg already called the police" NO HE DIDN'T -- "Sarge is okay?" "Yeah. He was attacked, but he'll pull through." "Where is he now?" AUGH DON'T TELL HIM -- So now I'm just wondering if Jessica is in on it too or just Greg and maybe Eric -- okay not Eric -- *Jessica*. That is *such* a HIPPA violation. ((okay not the main focus right now but still)) -- "Well, you can't have her. No one can, now." What a misogynist shitheel. Poor Jessica. -- Hit the femoral artery Phillip!! -- "I stood up to them, and they all fell before me." Good for you! Killing...over a dozen fifteen-year olds. Big strong man. -- (I have to say, the crashing through the glass table and the Cornuts is such a Heathers reference) -- 'Would she apologize that this occurred because of her?' What the HELL. It happened because her husband was a murderous asshole. She cheated? Yeah. And he could've yelled about it and then left her. *He* chose to go on a murder spree instead. That's not her fault. -- "Wait a minute. Did you just say Frank Doyle isn't real?" *snerk* -- There's an insinuation that Sarge isn't as much of an asshat anymore, and with Phil and Seth as counselors there'll definitely be a better environment. Still not much on the entire concept of the camp itself, though. SYNOPSIS:
OTHER VOICES, OTHER TOMBS is an anthology packed with unsettling stories from the finest independent authors in the horror genre. This collection runs the gamut of styles, including everything from literary horror to creepypasta. Ania Ahlborn, Kealan Patrick Burke, Michael Wehunt, Mercedes Yardley, and Gemma Files are widely considered some of the best authors working in dark fiction right now. Also included are stories from NoSleep Podcast legends: Gemma Amor, JD McGregor, and Michael Whitehouse. Anthologies are pretty much my favorite thing: I can take a few minutes between Stuff That Needs Done and read a story, and usually discover a new author or three along the way. This one doesn't disappoint (as soon as I saw Kealan Patrick Burke and Ania Ahlborn this thing was on my Kindle within a minute). My favorites from this one are: The Second Hand by Kealan Patrick Burke The Governess by Ania Ahlborn Fly Away, Little Fledgling by Michelle Garza and Melissa Lason Can We Keep Him? by C.W. Briar And, trigger warning for rape in the third story, Urban Moon. It's a very well-written piece, but it's a difficult read emotionally, so be careful with yourselves. Reactions/favorite lines for each: ((spoilers below)) THE SECOND HAND: -- 'I wish I'd have run to him and hugged him. I wish I'd found any reason at all to stay home with my parents where it was always safe.' -- 'Childhood is about raw wounds, the scars the armor of adulthood.' -- The Friday Night Movie Nights is such a sweet tradition; I love this family. And oh god something so horrible is going to happen the foreshadowing is killing me -- 'Because a truth of which I'd only recently become aware was that for all his hatred of his brother, robbie was slowly becoming him. As sure as a hammer will a nail, his brother's fists were driving meanness into him, and I was as afraid of what my friend would become as much as he feared what Dougie already was.' Yeah sure I wasn't using my heart anyway go ahead and stomp on it. -- the girl in the pond is one hell of a creepy visual no wonder this kid is scared. LISTEN TO THAT FRIGHT KIDDO IT IS TRYING TO KEEP YOU ALIVE -- 'I want to believe I'm overreacting but if so, then why hasn't the girl moved since we got here? If you say fear, okay, she's afraid, but tell me, then: why is the water running up her body instead of down? Fear can't alter physics." GYAH -- HAVING FLASHBACKS TO THE THING NOW THE GOVERNESS -- Oh man, I remember the new-mom panic so hard. -- "Pheebs, you need to relax." Way to be helpful to your upset wife, dick. -- 'Sometimes the night vision would cut out during his staring episodes and when it would click back on, Harrison--with his pupils shining like the eyes of an animal caught in oncoming headlights--would be grinning a disconcerting, toothless smile.' so THAT image is going to haunt me forever -- 'It forced her mind into worst-case scenario mode, because what if the baby had spit up and was now choking to death while lying on his back? What if he'd managed to roll onto his stomach and wasn't able to breathe?" Hello there past me how're you doing? -- oh no open closet door this story is going to give me a heart attack I still have not recovered from Stephen King's The Boogeyman -- Feed your husband to the closet thing sweetie, you'll be better off. -- 'Everything was going to be fine.' *bites nails* -- ((I've heard a lot of wonderful things about Ania Ahlborn but this is the first thing of hers I've actually read; she's stellar)) URBAN MOON -- I want Pen's jacket, it sounds over-the-top and perfect. -- Oh Pen. We'll just send that boyfriend to get eaten by lake-monster-girl from KPB's story. -- The bird imagery in this is very fairy-tale. -- Hey no no just call your husband and say you'll be late do NOT leave Pen there alone -- He seems very nice. WHAT'S WRONG WITH HIM. (hopefully nothing, don't let this be That Kind of story) -- Dammit it is -- Oh shit, no. Come on, there's enough bird references and all in here, at least let her morph into a swan and PECK OUT THEIR EYES -- "This isn't right. It doesn't have any feathers." SWEETIE. -- I will kill Tom and his friend and that officer and the ex and the internet mob and... oh, I know it ends on a more hopeful note but it just fills me with so much impotent rage that that almost doesn't matter, sadly. A CIRCLE THAT EVER RETURNETH -- The this-is-only-temporary mantra even as he settles further and further into his new situation is so unsettling. -- "Who the hell is Brad?" eeeeeeeeeek BURY ME IN THE GARDEN -- Poor Ivy. -- 'for the Crone' File under "this is not gonna end well" -- 'Jefferson would not have cowered under the threat of evil. And if I was intending to honor his courage, then neither should I.' Must. Protect. Small. Child. -- 'If someone must be surrounded, it might as well be with books.' Amen, kid. -- Owen's dad needs shot. I notice Mr. It Had To Be Done didn't offer *himself* for sacrifice THIS IS HOW IT GOES -- Well THAT'S one way to start a story thanks I'm traumatized -- I like that she also ends up on things like General Weird Shit threads. :) -- AUGH it's Invasion of the Body Snatchers but WORSE ((also this is a fantastic apocalypse idea)) -- 'For a century or so, the world was small enough not to be afraid of. It got smaller and faster and faster and smaller, 'til you could hold it in your hand. 'Til you could watch it from morning to night without ever having to go anywhere. That's never going to be true again.' -- 'Humans are amazingly adaptable creatures, which seemed like more of a compliment before I realized, post-Split, it was an equally apt descriptor for rats.' COMFORTABLE GODS -- 'this waiting room of a town' is a great phrase. -- This is going to rev up into extreme body horror isn't it -- I don't quite know what's happening yet but this whole atmosphere is unsettling as HELL -- "I remember myself and I don't care what's in this place. I want to find my husband and go away from here." *heart shatters* -- And the extreme body horror is here IN SPADES hiiiiiii nightmares FLY AWAY, LITTLE FLEDGLING -- 'She never got used to caring for children who were terminally ill, it felt so unnatural to watch their little bodies withering away. It sent her mind to a dark place.' oh look it's time to break for the night -- Okay. Next morning. Fortified by hot chocolate, I press on. -- ohhhhh nooooo Charlotte's the same age as my Kaylee I'm gonna go spike my hot chocolate -- "You're closer to hell than heaven." AAAAA -- "The first time, I took care of my own daughter" Then WHY would they ever assign you to a child's case your bosses suck -- "You're my favorite, Nurse Abbie. I want you to be here when I fly away." **sobbing** -- .....oh SHIT FORGET THE BURNING ISLE -- 'It was Jacob. He must have come back to check on me just before it happened.' oh no. ((and I don't know what exactly's going on here but the concept is 11o% terrifying)) -- Good man, McClusky. -- 'even though we're just following orders' Fuck you Blake. -- "I'm a soldier, son. No time for sentiment. I have to look after my own." Repeat previous judgment call. -- GET HIM KIDDO THREE LANES DEEP -- Ugh, these descriptions already have me feeling overheated and claustrophobic. Traffic jams with AC are bad enough; with none? Nooo. -- At least they don't have small children in the car. *Cujo flashbacks* -- LISTEN TO YOUR SISTER LUCAS -- 'She remembers the body in the trunk of the car.' wait WHAT THE SWITCH -- So a horror take on the Parent Trap. I'm here for this. -- "Abigale...honey, I need you to be honest with me. Where is your sister?" ohhhh dear -- 'Secretly, she wondered how much money she would inherit after this shit-show was over.' Shoulda let your granddaughter kill her, sir. -- 'She held the stuffed bear between them and, for the briefest of moments, Abby thought she saw the ratty old thing nod its head.' NOPE. THE RED ROSE -- "Hey, are you having fun?" she asked. "Loads," Ava replied sarcastically. Oh look it's me trying to socialize in high school. -- 'She needed a clear head. Tonight was going to be special for her regardless..." No wait, probably not me because Ava sounds like she's planning to kill people. -- 'Ava smiled, fingering the paring knife in her back pocket.' Yep, gonna kill people. -- okay there Leatherface YIKES -- This is a really interesting take on the killers-working-together trope. -- 'but unlike most dreamers, Ava didn't hesitate to make the necessary sacrifices.' I suppose that's a very, very generous way of looking at it. -- 'Cindy patted Ava's cheek. "That's right, darling. When you're ready to move the bodies, call me." I love how twisted this is. -- 'I've got you too, she thought.' CREEEEEEEPY (perfect) CAN WE KEEP HIM? -- Penny absolutely needs some consequences for that action, but on the other hand it's exactly the kind of prank that little kids who don't think things through play, and the whole 'you're a devil child' thing is a BIT much. -- "What do they protect us from?" Penny had asked mom after school. "Nothing, darling. It's just superstition." "But why would Dad take our star down? What's wrong with good luck?" "Nothing, but an updated exterior is worth more in resale value than good luck." We'll see how concerned you are about resale value when you have a possessed kid -- 'Mom and Dad did not like her exploring the woods on her own, but she did not like being grounded, which made breaking the rules seem fair.' This is such Kid Logic. Now stop investigating weird animal noises alone Penny, this is how people die in horror movies. -- 'For a moment, Penny thought that the cat's jaw was too loose, and that its mouth was opening in directions that it shouldn't, exposing a surprising number of needle teeth. Then she shook her head and got rid of those weird thoughts. The cat was so cute, and she didn't have any reason for the nervous feelings crawling like spiders down her spine.' YES YOU DO oh man I'm going to have nightmares about this, wake up and see one of my own cats, and die of heart failure. -- Penny, sweetheart. Please talk to your mom. -- 'The wind also played with loose boards on the shed, wiggling them like baby teeth ready to come out in a final, bloody yank.' -- Penny is going to need All The Therapy Forever. ALONE IN THE DARK -- 'It wasn't her first rodeo. She'd long since abandoned feeling guilty for driving with whatever illegal substance inside her system.' Please don't kill/hurt anyone else when you inevitably wreck. -- 'Everything was going to be fine. It was only a little buzz. People get away with this shit all the time.' And Iiiiiiiiiiiiiii would love to smack youuuuuuuuuu -- 'made her start to wish she'd just stayed the night at Em's' gee ya think -- OW MY HEART. |
A WORLD WITH A BLUER SUNMy reviews are set up a little like live-tweets: I write down lines I like/impressions as I read, and then transcribe. Reviews will contain spoilers, but I'll give a warning before they start. Archives
June 2021
Categories
All
|