SYNOPSIS:
Rusty Moss has raised his niece Mia since she was a baby. Now that she's almost eighteen, he's worried that the life he's given her—living off the grid in a cabin deep in the woods—is holding her back from her full potential. But that angst gets pushed aside when the undead forest animals arrive. At first it's just a squirrel—shockingly violent and almost impossible to kill. Followed by a grizzly bear, also aggressive and resilient, even when point-blank shotgun blasts to the face are involved. Now the cabin is surrounded by all manner of zombie creatures. They have no way to call for help. The truck that could take them to safety is three miles away, stuck in the mud. But Rusty and Mia have their courage. They have their wits. And, most importantly, they have an axe and a fully fueled chainsaw... I needed something a lot more lighthearted after my last read, the super-tense The Nightmare Girl. This? Fit the bill perfectly. JUST LOOK AT THAT COVER. (seriously I want to print that art up and hang it on my wall) If you had any other doubts about what you're in for here, just read this disclaimer: "The plausibility of this novel has not been verified by anybody in the scientific community, due to concern that their heads would explode." 😄 This is a straightforward, fast-moving thriller. Zombie animals is my absolute favorite zombie genre, so those + Jeff Strand's writing is an automatic win from me. Notes I took while reading: -- 'And if nothing else, Mia was going to have an amazing handmade wooden crib.' -- ilu Rusty -- "I didn't say that was for you." "You hate licorice." "Maybe I've evolved. People change. They acquire experience and wisdom." "Are you saying you've acquired new wisdom?" "Oh, God no. I'm done with that shit." 😄 -- 'It was an admirable trait to not let fear rule one's life, but it was also admirable to not be a complete dumbass.' Amen, Rusty. Also, the 'dumbass' has now got me picturing Rusty as Red from That 70s Show, which oddly fits. -- BLOODLESS ZOMBIE SQUIRREL -- "So from now on, neither of us goes outside alone. That includes me. I'm mot trying to be a hero. And if we do go out, it's only during the daytime. Just until we get this figured out." I love that Rusty's not trying to be dismissively macho about this. Our leads are certainly in danger plenty throughout the novel, but it's because the enemy is dangerous, not because they act like zombie kibble. -- I really love the relationship Rusty and Mia have. You can tell they respect and care about each other, and the banter they have is great. (Strand's dialogue is always a ton of fun) -- "Get me something to put it in." "A bowl of holy water?" Mia is on the right track here -- The siege at the cabin is amazing and freaky and I want this to be a movie. -- "Zombie woodpecker?" "I hope not." "That would be a humiliating way to die." this better not be foreshadowing i really want them both to live -- oh god the eye thing ow ow owwwwwww -- "Then, in a move that Rusty could not believe he was actually seeing performed by his niece, she grabbed a thick handful of fur with her left hand, shoved the axe blade deep into the bear's back to give her leverage with her right, and pulled herself up onto its back like she was mounting a very large, hairy, psychotic horse." MIA. YOU GODDESS. I ADORE YOU. -- War of the Worlds reference! -- omfg zombie porcupines this book is the best -- "We have weird-ass conversations," Rusty noted. "I think normal conversations are over for us." "You're right. How can I ask you to pass the salt after watching you ride around on a zombie bear?" -- 'Rusty cut off a squirrel's tail, which wasn't his intent. The tail spun around on the ground like a battery powered cat toy.' Nice description. Also, I like that even a bullet to the head/cutting the head off doesn't fully kill these things; just manages to slow them down. -- 'Something snorted.' OH GOD ZOMBIE BOAR I've been worried about this possibility guys GO I loved this book entirely too much. If you want a quick, ridiculous and fun read, pick it up.
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SYNOPSIS:
When family man Joe Crawford confronts a young mother abusing her toddler, he has no idea of the chain reaction he’s setting in motion. How could he suspect the young mother is part of an ancient fire cult, a sinister group of killers that will destroy anyone who threatens one of its members? When the little boy is placed in a foster home, the fanatics begin their mission of terror. Soon the cult leaders will summon their deadliest hunters―and a ferocious supernatural evil―to make Joe pay for what he’s done. They want Joe’s blood and the blood of his family. And they want their child back. This is an intense book, to the point where I had to stop myself from growling at the characters and then having to explain to the kids why. 😄 I love that it starts off in high gear (in the hardest scene in the book to get through), stays tense the whole way through, and then somehow manages to kick it up even more at the end. Hell of a book, and I'm absolutely spending my @flametreepress coupon on more Janz stories. Notes I took while reading! -- How much do I want to be able to physically fling Angie and her mom into the sun? "It's called discipline!" YOU ASSHOLE I WILL... -- "Isn't that a bit...extreme? Can't Angie go to classes? You know, become a better mom?" No it isn't 'extreme' she was beating her kid in a parking lot wtf is wrong with you -- "How can they do that?" "Do what?" Michelle made a vague gesture. "Take her child away. Permanently, I mean." Because. She. Beat. Him. And now she and her equally creepy mom have been stalking you guys for a week. You want a kid to go back to that house? -- oh god the self-immolation scene is creepy as HELL -- "But Sharon...she lost her daughter, her house. She probably won't get custody of her grandson." Because she defended her daughter for abusing the kid and viciously attacked the people who tried to protect him. HOW IS THIS HARD TO GRASP. Once is understandable, twice is worrisome, three times and I'm suspecting Michelle is actually part of the cult. -- "It just seems right that we should pay our respects." "I don't have any respects." GOOD -- Joe why are you at the funeral you were doing so well -- My love for Darrell is eternal -- okay so Bridget and Mitch are clearly creepy cultists moving in next door to keep an eye on them -- "You have a daughter of your own, don't you, Joe Crawford?" "My daughter is none of your business." "I'll decide what she is." Ohhhh no either kill her right now or move to Alaska maybe both because this isn't gonna end well -- "You're not using my silverware for that." *snerk* -- DO NOT DRINK THE WINE IF THE MARTINS GAVE IT TO YOU -- I'm loving Janz's writing style. I'm gonna buy all of his stuff assuming Little Stevie and Lily live through this (I am still not over Gage from Pet Sematary dangit) -- "You're a real asshole," Joe said, "but I'm not gonna kill you." this is a mistake joe -- ugggggh I *knew* Gentry was a creeper -- "He's better off without her." "You're probably right about that." "Damn right I am." There we go, Michelle! -- the way Darrell dealt with Gentry = GOLD -- "Lily napped and I worked on the computer." "That sounds rough." JOE. You are gonna get your butt kicked and rightly so. -- Why are you exploring the house alone Joe this is exactly how people die in horror movies -- I honestly thought when he opened the car door and realized the cult had left something for him that it was gonna be the remains of the couple's dog and I was gonna be traumatized forever -- Stop it you two you are not allowed to go into the creepy church when nobody knows where you are -- Darrell noooooooooooo -- WICKER MAN FLASHBACKS -- HECK YEAH MICHELLE I'M SORRY I EVER DOUBTED YOU -- I may well get '"Now ladies. You don't want to--" His forehead disintegrated' as a tattoo because ICONIC. -- "To get my son." I'm not tearing up you're tearing up -- 'The first cult member impaled himself like an energetic hors d'oeuvre' **cackling** -- 'He'd be damned if this scrawny psychopath would put a hole in his head with something Joe had purchased at Sears' <3 <3 <3 -- also Joe is never going to hire anyone for his construction business ever again -- From my kidlet: "Mom! Time for bedtime story!" noooooo mommy is 20 pages from the end of the book go play -- SHARON I STG -- 'The boy didn't smile, but he didn't look afraid. And that was something, Joe thought. That was something.' darnit Janz quit making me cry All in all, an incredible book. I love the supernatural tinges, but that it wasn't *so* supernatural that you were left with the feeling that Lily was irrevocably doomed. Angie's actions were more of a self-fulfilling prophecy than a supernatural decree, and since Little Stevie and Lily are growing up in a loving home, that cycle is going to be broken. It's my favorite kind of horror novel: dark and terrifying, but with hope left at the end. Wholeheartedly recommend. Disturbing as all hell, and I loved it. I've never been in a band, but the opening pages make me nostalgic for it anyway. "Then, right on cue, threw his fist in the air and for the first time in ten years summoned the dead to rise." 💗
I continually wanted to hit Caspian with a brick, and am 100% in love with Cassie and little Rox. A couple more favorite quotes: "Ever lie in bed at night and think back upon a childhood memory and it's like you return to that place in time? And it's sweet for a moment. Because you remember you were once sweet and innocent. And then you realize you have entered the body of a ghost. A version of you that no longer exists and never will again. And you wonder if you got from that precious time what you were meant to." ((Mr. Kirk are you ridiculously proud of those lines because you should be)) "There was a first person to strum a guitar and there will be a last. A first eye to open and a final one to close. Melody in between." Notes I took while reading: -- "What'd you think?" I shrugged. "Felt bad for that girl. Pretty grim little read." "Yours had a girl?" Me- o____O -- I am 20 pages in, freaked the hell out, and in love with this concept -- "I opened the door and got out, never once seeing the little button on the steering wheel containing a camera. Just like the one now watching you." OH HELL NO -- *trying to figure out what the chapter title runes mean* -- Man, this is going *hard* for still being so early in the book -- "Letters are true but the name is a lie"... Lamia? -- ilu Al and considering everything that makes me worry -- oh jesus 167-168 i have no words -- "Am I ready to see this? Are you?" NO I AM NOT. ...... *reads anyway* -- "She bit two of them, gouged out an eye, and ripped off half an ear." CASSIE YOU GODDESS Oh look, a key at the end for the runes!! Me, translating: WITH EVERY WORD YOU RMIND-- hey did I miss an E? Hm. No. --OPENS Ohhh, WITH EVERY WORD YOUR MIND OPENS well crap goodbye world Hadn't read any of his stuff before, but he's got more short story collections up and I'll gladly give them a go.
Some of the stories are weirdly sweet, like "House Spider"; some are gruesome as hell ("Yesterday Morning I Found Bloody Teeth in My Pocket", which was the sole DNF for me once I realized where it was going); and some are tragic: "Come See What's in the Tunnel" and "The Trick". If you haven't guessed already, the titles are great-- "I Convinced My Friend that I'm a Vampire. Now He's Hunting Me." "Everyone in my Town has Vanished Except for Me and the Demon." "I Thought My Neighbor was Dressing Up Like a Scarecrow." My favorites: "A Thing Called Candleheart Killed My Brother." "Ol' Mr. Horsehair" (SO MUCH body horror...) "Have You Ever Heard Whistling on a Lonely Road?" And the aforementioned "Scarecrow", which contains both one of my favorite horror monsters and this gem of a line: "I took all this in during the brief two-second window of shock and surprise before I lost my shit." 😄 |
A WORLD WITH A BLUER SUNMy reviews are set up a little like live-tweets: I write down lines I like/impressions as I read, and then transcribe. Reviews will contain spoilers, but I'll give a warning before they start. Archives
June 2021
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