SYNOPSIS:
Each year, people all over the world celebrate special festivals and days, shining light on what they wish to remember and revere. But sometimes, inhabitants of the dark arrive with the desire to disturb proceedings. Dark Celebrations is a collection of twelve short stories... and the holidays will never be the same. I had nothing but good things to say about Demmer's previous collection, The Sea Was a Fair Master, so I'm not surprised that I loved this one, too. I love themed story collections, especially if a group of unrelated ones somehow all tie together at the end. There's not one in here that I regret reading or found boring, but my standout favorites are Hungry Ghosts, Trick or Death, Three Dead Men, Dying Valentine, and She Will Rise. Quotes/Lines: ((spoilers below!)) HUNGRY GHOSTS -- 'Ten Tips for Surviving the Hungry Ghost Festival' ...I love this already. The list is creepy as hell (8: Do not swim. Drowned evil ghosts seek victims for their rebirth.' brrrrrrrr) -- "That's why the old guy alongside the road fumed with anger when you knocked over the bowl of food. It was for the ghosts. You should've just apologized." Ahhhh, so Ray is a dick. Good to know. -- 'Before the stage were a few rows of empty seats cordoned off from the public. Apparently, they reserved seats for any ghosts who wanted to catch the performance.' I love this. -- "Come out, little critter," Lara said to the bush as she kneeled.' Lara. Lara no. ((and I say this as somebody who would absolutely do the same thing because I am a dumbass about animals)) -- 'Slowly, something seemed to be coming up from beneath the surface.' Time to haul ass, guys -- 'Ray had also grown more curious and crouched down onto his knees, pushing his head between two beams of the wooden railing.' All the better for something to decapitate you... -- 'Instead, she turned and pointed at the bushes, straight at Lara.' NOPE. TIME TO SPONTANEOUSLY LEARN HOW TO FLY LABOR DAY HUNT: -- 'Two hundred dollars cash for two hours' work, according to the ad he had seen.' *alarm bells go off* -- "We're going to serve some people a meal. Nothing to it, really, and I sure do appreciate you helping me out." This guy has absolutely got a copy of To Serve Man in his pocket RUN -- 'Jared hadn't even realized there was a back entrance until Tim pushed a huge dumpster away, revealing two green steel doors.' Sweetie. Your survival instincts. You've got to have a couple somewhere, right? Right?! -- 'There was a thick red substance in the bowls, reminding Jared of homemade tomato soup.' JARED. The Frog brothers would be so disappointed in you. -- Ohhhh, I like where this went! -- 'He stopped when he saw a piece of flesh stuck on the edge of the pipe lying on the floor. Peering closer through his narrow view, he realized what it was. His right eye was looking up at him.' AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH -- "Good, you're alive," Tim said. "Oh yeah, I cut off your arm." omfg. TRICK OR DEATH: -- "I'm sorry, Miss Grady. I'm shooting some footage for my YouTube channel. Is it cool if I use your reaction?" "Um, well, okay, but wait," Miss Grady said. Her face had returned to its normal color. "I think I swore. Did I swear? You can't use it if I did." I love this lady. Now quit being a dumbass, kid, you're lucky you didn't give the poor woman a heart attack. -- 'Polly screamed, punching in his direction. The blow hit Barry on the right cheek.' Serves you right. -- "Miss Cutler, it was a little prank. It's a video for my channel. Would you mind if I use your reaction?" Punch him again, Polly, I don't think the first one took. -- 'He tried the handle. Unlocked.' You are gonna get *shot*. -- Okay, or worse. O_____o THANKS SINNING: -- Lucy Fern? Yeahhh, *that* name doesn't have any ominous connotations. ;) -- moving tattoos eeeeeeeek -- "It's not a drug. It's natural. Been around for ages." SAME WITH HEMLOCK WTF ARE YOU DOING c'mon kid no one-night stand is worth this THREE DEAD MEN: -- Yes, you should absolutely call your parents and tell them you can't find your uncle stop investigating places alone -- "You must get out now." Her uncle banged on the door. "Run, Maiko. Run and get help" And then Maiko proceeds to argue for several paragraphs. This is not how you survive a horror story. -- So head shots work with zombies *and* mummies, good to know. ;) -- Maiko! <3 Going after mummies with a garden fork, I love you. -- "I doubt that telling your parents what happened would be a great idea." Understatement of the year... HAPPY DARK YEAR: -- 'Kendall hadn't moved. Guilt tugged at him, but he ignored it. SHe would be fine. Everyoene knew Roy, who ran the motel, and he was an okay guy. Kendall would surely ask him fora lift to the party once she accepted how immature she had acted. ... Kendall would be fine.' ....I do not like this foreshadowing AT ALL. -- "Well, Hannah. You found the right man. I know the perfect place." I'm guessing she's a succubus who's going to eat you and you deserve it, Mr. 'repressing the thought that he had a girlfriend'. ((and the place he takes her is one of Kendall's favorites? UGH.)) -- 'The panic crawled throughout his limbs like a million tiny newborn spiders.' Line <3 DYING VALENTINE: -- 'Daniel Hill's musky cologne permeated the interior of his car. He had doubled his usual amount when applying the fragrance.' Ohhhh, your poor date. -- "Please get up," Daniel muttered. "Please, please get up." The woman didn't move.' :( -- "Here," he said. "Let me help you." "You've done enough. Now back the fuck up." Completely understandable, ma'am. -- 'Surely it would all be plain sailing from here.' Oh, kiddo. -- NICE TWIST. And very Elizabeth Bathory. -- oh my GOD that ENDING aughhhhh SPRING OUTBREAK -- Aw, poor Gwen. -- 'She didn't see Hayley. She saw no one.' Oh no no no, the 'everyone else is suddenly gone' is SUCH a creepy trope. -- 'A cooler box sat unattended, filled with drinks. A set of keys lay on one of the towels, along with an expensive smartphone. Farther on, someone had even left a wallet behind.' o__O -- 'He held a severed limb in his right hadn. If not for the colorful butterfly tattoo on the pale blue foot, Gwen might not have realized it was Hayley's leg.' Worst. Vacation. Ever. -- SHARKS. VERSUS. ZOMBIES. Calvin Demmer, ilu -- Nooooooo. I knew it, you can *never* trust the military in a zombie story. SHE WILL RISE: -- 'Her thinning gray hair fell over the side of her face like the spiderwebs Luna recalled from the attic of their first home.' Another nice line! -- 'Sometimes Luna stood before a mirror and imagined herself with different hair and the colorful, eccentric clothes her sister loved, as if that would give her a glimpse of the sibling who should've been.' ;_________; -- 'He had hit her mother once.' *cues up Little Shop of Horrors* The guy sure looks like plant food to me! -- 'The fifth tip is stop any motherfuckers who intend to do you or your family harm.' HELL YESSSSSSS MY GIRLS. PROM SCREAMS: -- "How am I supposed to teach her everything she needs to remember?" She's not a dog, you jackass. Go get eaten by a werewolf or something. -- Have her back by midnight? Some kind of monstrous Cinderella? If so I love -- 'He had been excited for prom all year. Why did his ex have to dump him days before?" No idea, you seem like such a charmer. Who wouldn't want to date someone who refuses to go back for her medication because then he might be late to showing up his ex at prom? -- I love Fay, btw -- 'He was good at communicating, maybe he could speak some sense into this guy.' Kid no BAD idea UNIDENTIFIED FATHERLY OBJECT -- 'On Father's Day, he was going to sneak into the military base outside of town and find out what happened to his dad.' thisisfine.gif -- 'The handle turned, unlocked. It all seemed too easy.' You think??? -- Ohhhh, here's where all the stories get tied together YAY -- 'Fred dug into his backpack and pulled out his uncle's firearm, which he'd liberated before leaving home.' You just get smarter and smarter. -- Well, that's a new take on Mousetrap. Ughhhh. INDEPENDENCE DENIED -- Brad, you'd probably be able to stay awake longer if you ingested something besides beer. -- Ocean creatures! Cthulu mythos, or something else? -- Do NOT go to a warehouse alone because of an anonymous note have you no regard for your own life -- "You are safe now, and once the rest of the world has been cleaned up, we will start a new world, a better world." I would say run, but you kinda lost that chance already, so...have fun with the scary-ass cult, I guess?
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A stellar collection of flash fiction- thank you to the ever amazing @mother.horror for the rec!
Not an unlikeable one in the bunch, though of course I had my favorites: On the Seventh Day; Yara; Fear the Clowns (I love a good gutpunch ending); The Snakes or the Humans?; and Graves. |
A WORLD WITH A BLUER SUNMy reviews are set up a little like live-tweets: I write down lines I like/impressions as I read, and then transcribe. Reviews will contain spoilers, but I'll give a warning before they start. Archives
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