SYNOPSIS:
The second book in an epic series of twenty-six horror anthologies. Within these pages you will find a collection of thirteen stories from some of the finest independent writers on the scene today. From oversized bugs to Kaiju, vicious woodland creatures to giant spiders, B is for Beasts contains a range of terrifying stories in which the humans are always the prey. I love the concept behind this series: an entire alphabet of creepiness, so you can pick and choose whichever subjects are your favorites. Animal-themed horror is a particular weakness of mine, so this was an easy first choice. And there are a couple of creepy illustrations, which is always a plus. My favorites: Jack; Night at Maddy's Motel; Waiting for Daylight; Pholcidae; and Angels on Mountaintops. Quotes/Lines: ((spoilers below!)) MOMMA'S RATTLE: -- 'Her hair looked flat, her once effervescent skin was pale, and her eyes dull. Was this even the Lucy he had first met? Tyler felt a bit of himself feel disgusted that this was who he was married to.' I'm currently rooting for whatever tied you up in that cave, jsyk. -- 'Tyler's favorite game was to walk into the bar and look for the girl who was talking to a guy. Tyler would then spend the evening winning that girl, while the poor loser watched. It isn't enough to win, Tyler had realized; you need to make sure someone else loses.' Your poor, poor wife. I hope she remarries well and soon after you get eaten. ((okay, turns out this was premarriage. Guy's still scum.)) -- 'All that changed when the twins came.' I stg if he's one of those 'wahh, my wife isn't hot anymore and doesn't give me all of her attention now that we have kids' guys... -- OMFG it's even worse she has postpartum and he resents her for it and is now cheating on her in the age-old guise of 'business trip'. Die slow. -- 'The cave grew larger and escape was nearly in his grasp when his feet caught something on the cave floor.' I am pleased -- 'Why would she let me go?' Same question. -- Ugh, of course you'd figure out a way to take your wife and kids with you, you ass. BABY'S GONE -- So this lady gave birth alone, then cleans up the lunch dishes for her husband and kid, and then makes supper for when they get home? **skeptical face** -- 'And there was blood, a lot of blood, coating the wet clothes in the basket, Jamie's blanket, and the grass around the clothesline.' Nooooo REPTILE AT THE CROSSROADS -- 'Accustomed, as everyone was, to the unmoving monstrosity, Mary Jo had bravely stepped over the serpent to enter the schoolhouse and do her job-- only to lose the baby, and by the looks of it, her mind, the very next day.' Poor thing!! ((and the scene with her coming into the store... *shudder*)) -- "It ain't gonna get you, Beck." Why was he whispering? Because he doesn't believe it, but is willing to risk you as long as he doesn't have to deal with a baby. -- 'She knew her baby was gone- and so was whatever she felt for Gerald. He might as well not be there at all.' Good. -- NO WAIT NOT GOOD AHHHHHH MRS. RUMTIFUSEL'S FUR COAT -- Salem Halloween Street Fair? I'm in. -- 'If that doesn't work, there's always the five-fingered discount!' You're pleasant. -- I love the Museum of Oddities. Would absolutely work there. -- "Shut up, Michael! Now I said price isn't an issue, Mrs. Cutler, so how much?" Mrs. Cutler stared at Susan and then smiled for the very first time. "You must have it back before sundown." You're gonna dieeeeeee -- YEEEK. JACK -- "Maybe some evenings I could call by..." "Whenever you like," I said. "Will you have a bite to eat now you're here?" Well, one thing led to another. By the end of the year, we were married.' Aw, they're cute. This is going to end terribly. -- 'He could redecorate and redesign every room in the house, I said, take whatever space he needed for himself. Only the annexe was off-limits.' How very Bluebeard. -- This is such a strange, sad, and unique scenario. -- 'I decorated the inside with flowered wallpaper and hid the window bars with curtains.' That line says so much. These poor kids. -- 'What had possessed me, my mind screamed, to imagine I could share my life with both?' Oh Chloe. KAIJU -- 'He never meant to hit Reika, not really, but after noticing another dried speck of egg yolk on one of the dishes, Toshiro backhanded her with enough force to make her nose bleed.' Die soon, and die horribly. -- 'Like the kaiju itself, Toshiro also hated human beings.' Shock. Surprise. -- 'How was he supposed to work under these conditions?' noooo not the whine of misunderstood "artists" everywhere -- 'What kind of animatronic puppet bleeds red ink?' UGH -- 'Surely, she would still recognize him despite his monstrous appearance. Reika wouldn't run away from him in fear like the others.' Dammit leave your poor wife alone you've put her through enough. -- 'Perhaps, he thought, stepping back from the apartment, he deserved this punishment. He was once, after all, a a monster in human form who tormented his wife with violence and viciousness. Nothing much had changed except for his size.' Fact. STORMFRONT -- Sympathies, Connie, bad sunburns are the WORST. -- "No." Connie put a hand to one hip. "We paid in advance and don't have anywhere else to go for the next several days." "We are closing." She mustered up her best poker face. "Not my problem." ...Karen? -- "Look, I haven't had a chance to even mind out what's going on. I don't speak the language." Of course you don't. -- Hitchcock would be proud. NIGHT AT MADDY'S MOTEL -- 'This man had a face as pinched as a puckered penis and a body as warped as a lightning-blasted tree. His skin looked desiccated, his eyes bulged as if he'd caught the Pope masturbating, and his hair-backed hands resembled something found dead in a forest.' WHAT a description. -- It was time to kick shit over the stinking life he'd been leading out of no more than habit or, maybe, a perverse and misplaced sense of stubbornness.' If you weren't in a book like this one, I'd think you might make it. -- 'He was about to pull into the car park but something indefinable wormed its way into his mind, something trouble and desperate, urging him to drive on.' I love this. WAITING FOR DAYLIGHT -- 'Having survived World War 1, he'd seen his share of death, and knew more than he cared to about fear. He was confident this was their last night on Earth.' Ouch. Also, the Alaskan setting is automatic 30 Days of Night/The Thing isolation-horror vibes. <3 -- 'As beautiful as they were, there'd been an instinctual fear from the beginning, like a brightly-colored serpent warning people not to bother it.' -- 'Poor Ardor Hammond had been left lying on the pier.' Poor nothing; he should've let those who wanted to leave go. -- 'Returning, he turned out one lantern and gave a silent prayer, asking to die as best he could. He just hoped it would be quick. Several of the corpses had held horrified looks on their faces-- the ones who hadn't been relieved of their heads.' O____o WOOD FOOKS -- "Come here, my pretty." The bloody farmer is greeting it. "What have you brought me?" I'm thinking you should've found a Holiday Inn, guys. -- 'Then I climb inside the remains of the farmer to disguise myself. THe carnage is warm and sticky. I pull his skull over my head.' ooookay there Ed Gein yikes PHOLCIDAE -- 'The Platts took him in, James and Haman, fathers already to little Abigail.' <3 <3 <3 -- 'Amos could talk to them. The dogs and cats and especially the goats, who loved him best of all. Even the chickens, a little.' That's a heck of a talent. -- I love this kid and this is not gonna end well :( -- 'And Amos went home that night with ruination tucked painstakingly into his satchel for safekeeping.' -- 'The town was already found of the young couple with their twin girls- now they fell in love.' Cheer at your coronation and also your beheading, etc. -- 'They did sleep at daytime, but they woke up when the little ones peered into the pit.' No no no no -- 'So much anguish can hinge on a split second's misfortune or miscalculation. The nudge that veers life off-course can be so small that it makes a mockery of order; the falling rock, the moment's murderous passion, the weakness of sleep when one is supposed to be watchful.' That's an incredible paragraph. -- 'Does every monster's father know, in some lockbox in his soul, that it will all come to a reckoning?' -- Esther was right. Amez had brought the sun with him wherever he went. Now, that little sun was extinguished, gone forever down a dark hole of cobwebs and shadows because of Amos's carelessness. Because he had invited danger into his home and danger had struck not him, but an innocent.' -- 'attacked by my stock, terrible accident, so sorry, come talk to me about recompense-' Leaving his body for his parents to find? Writing a note? Recompense? AMOS. -- 'A split second's thought--are they in my mind? Are they changing me?--then it was stifled.' O_o -- 'We both have blood on us, she wrote, get rid of those murderous animals. Come join me. My sister has room. It's not too late yet to be clean again.' Awww, Esther. -- 'The pholcidae felt his mind go and cried out in mourning for him.' Poor little things; they're just what they are. I hate Rigel, though. ROSEBUD COTTAGE -- 'The music, alongside the popping and crackling of logs on the fire, almost drowned out the gut-wrenching sounds coming from beyond the window.' *curious* -- Margaret, I only knew you for a page but I adore you. -- 'Kathy was full of smiles, but Jonathan saw something hiding beyond that, a look in her eyes which could have been a mixture of fear and guilt'. Trust your instincts, buddy. Also, Kathy, you are an asshole. -- Oh good, she's got asshole's address. ANGELS ON MOUNTAINTOPS -- Oooh, summer-camp scary story! -- 'better safe than lawsuit' Pfffft. -- 'I shook my head, suppressing a grin. "Miranda has a roll of toilet paper. No itchy butts for anyone." The girls giggled. No matter how old they got, at least butt jokes were still funny.' Awww, kiddos. <3 -- "You can't keep wandering off like that. You could get lost, or hurt..." She dragged the toe of her boot in the dirt. "I thought I heard the angels. I was going to find them." Oh boy. I'd picked the crazy kid for my group. Fucking fantastic.' You work at a Christian summer camp. She's a little kid. Settle it down. -- "Well, people are trained to make certain associations with different types of insects. They believe that some are good, and others are bad. Like ladybugs are good, and wasps are bad.' That's not belief, wasps' evilness is a well-documented fact. -- "I'm looking for them. If I find the angels, they'll take me to my parents. We can be together again." Oh sweetie. -- Hi, Riley needs a punishment harsher than just saying her name sternly after that shit. -- 'Next year, I was picking a different group.' Or you could tell Riley's parents that she's not welcome back. -- Awww, Amber telling campfire stories about Mothman. <3 -- You just let kids go off looking for a missing child right after your tent was destroyed by an unknown person/animal? Because they have twine to guide them back? Worst. Counselor. Ever. -- 'This kid didn't need camp, she needed a therapist.' I have decided to fully commit to hating you. -- 'She looked stricken. She took two steps backwards, her lower lip trembling. "I'm sorry, Sammy. I didn't mean it, I--" She didn't wait to hear the rest. She turned and ran.' I repeat- worst counselor ever. -- ((also wtf actually happened to Abby?))
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I love how foreboding this book is. Even when scenes are calm, you *know* something terrible is just about to happen (and you're generally right). The descriptive writing is lovely. "On the lake, a flock of gulls were sprinkled like the ash of a forgotten cigarette." 💗
Which makes it all the more jarring when the author's knack for description is turned to the horrifying. The scene with the cat is gonna stay with me for a long time. Oddly, the ending wasn't as much of a gutpunch as it might have been since I'd been expecting *something* awful to happen to that character in the finale from a few pages in. I wanted the narrator to die instead. That guy was a creep. (Haunted, yes. Still a creep.) The less said about that bathtub scene, the better. I'm kinda tempted to frame this cover; it's gorgeously creepy. Short review: HOLY. SHIT.
Longer review: I know it's not a giant book, but I still didn't expect to tear through it so fast. My own son is 8, so the child-in-peril (or worse) aspect would normally put this on my Do Not Read list. I couldn't put the damn thing down. Haunting, moving words that don't slip into purple prose. The formatting itself adds to the story. And there's so much familiar to parenthood here: (("I said, stop!" The man was louder, searching for the tone that would actually halt the boy.)) Been there. It's a fast read but not a light one, and while I absolutely recommend it I also recommend having something cheerful to read/watch lined up for afterward. Because I'm terrible at taking my own advice, I'm instead going to go add Johnson's Entropy in Bloom to my buy-after-payday list. |
A WORLD WITH A BLUER SUNMy reviews are set up a little like live-tweets: I write down lines I like/impressions as I read, and then transcribe. Reviews will contain spoilers, but I'll give a warning before they start. Archives
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