SYNOPSIS:
When David Caine, a celebrated skeptic of the supernatural, is invited by an old friend to spend a month in “the most haunted house in Virginia,” he believes the case will be like any other. But the Alexander House is different. Built by a 1700s land baron to contain the madness and depravity of his eldest son, the house is plagued by shadows of the past and the lingering taint of bloodshed. David is haunted, as well. For twenty-two years ago, he turned away the woman he loved, and she took her life in sorrow. And David suspects she’s followed him to the Alexander House. Long story short, I loved it. I'd decided with The Nightmare Girl that Janz was going onto my auto-buy list and this solidified my decision. David was a fascinating, frustrating main character (he reminded me of Steven from Haunting of Hill House- I alternated between wanting to keep him safe and wanting to shake him). Jessica is fantastic and badass, and the side characters are very memorable (both the good and the bad. Ughhhh, Honey. 😬) The notes I took: -- haunted house story HELL YES -- "I should probably get groceries." "You probably should," Ralph said. "Then again, maybe you shouldn't rest on ceremony and pass up free burgers and beer." I would like to live next to Ralph -- "The disappointment of a reader, not a believer. You wanna know the ride's been worthwhile. You want there to be a payoff." "So I should make one up?" He was aware of the edge in his voice but made no effort to soften it. Ralph's criticism was familiar. Why did people crave dishonesty? David, buddy, if you're sure you won't like the answer you may not want to ask the question. -- 'Two stories, brick, probably worth half a million. It was like a contracter had plopped the house here to strike back at a conservationist with whom he'd been feuding.' GREAT LINE. -- 'The kid put his hands on his hips. "You a retard or something?" "That's a lousy word." "Mom uses it." Oh I'm gonna hate the Shelbys sfm -- 'He'd be here a month. Even in a place this remote, he was bound to run into Mr. and Mrs. Shelby eventually. Why not get it out of the way?' No. Bad instinct. Just take your chances with the ghosts. -- Shelby forced a smile. "Children are a trial, Mr. Caine. You're blessed you never had any." Your daughter is Right There you asshole -- okay, so the ghosts eat the parents and the kids go to an actual caring home this is my dream -- that little carved canoe wtf that is not right -- "The part that keeps me up at night...the part I've never gotten over...it's that what happened to that family...those poor kids...it happened on my watch." **hugs Ralph** -- "That's Oxrun Park" Oxrun? Nice. <3 -- "I cared about her, too." "Would you stop the bullshit niceties?" David half-smiled. "It was almost a quarter of a century ago." Chris is gonna punch you and you're going to deserve it. -- "You don't belong in that house." Mike Jr. gave him a wry look. "Hell, I know that. Why you think I'm over here?" Oh sweetie -- I will never own a bed that doesn't rest on the floor ever again. -- "I didn't see anything," he said I stg if you get those babies killed because you're too stubborn to admit what was right in front of you... -- "I forgot there was a caretaker." She gave him a look. "Who do you think mows the lawn? The Bell Witch?" I like you, kid. -- "That," Anna said, an eyebrow arched, "would never happen because it would require you to change." YOW. -- "Don't look at me like that, Mr. Caine," the woman said. "You already knew I was a woman. Finding out I'm also black can't be that much of a shock." Sheriff Harkless is my new favorite -- "Honey's father. He's the Mayor of Lancaster." okay new plan, the ghosts eat the parents *and* the awful grandfather, and then the kids go to the Sheriff. -- David couldn't meet the older man's eyes. "Those are movies." "Did you listen to the shit you just told me?" RALPH. <3 -- "I'm not ready to embrace the irrational." "Of course you're not. You've gotta be a stubborn dipshit and have more proof shoved in your face." A mirthless chuckle. "Maybe get a couple of your friends killed." Ralph leveled a finger at him. "I'm not going over there with you, by the way, so I'll save you the trouble of asking." You say that now Ralph but please go stay in a motel or something before David changes your mind -- "It's like magic," Ralph said. "Just like that you've got it all explained." "It's easier to swallow than--" "Than the possibility you don't know everything?" just imagine I have posted every "BURN!!!" gif in existence right here -- "Was it you, Chris, or did you hire an actor?" You are gonna die from pure unadulterated stubborn dumbassery and I just hope you don't take anyone else with you -- "Trying to make me feel bad..." "...so manipulative" gaslighting ass -- 'The part he couldn't get over was that when Chris called to tell him she was dead, David wasn't surprised.' fuuuuuuck youuuuuu ((and that makes the earlier 'it was almost a quarter of a century ago' even WORSE because her little brother, her little sister, her dad already was fighting cancer and then he had to go through the worst grief imaginable and he's all 'well, it was a long time ago')) -- and I know he's not responsible for Anna's actions but for him to be so *dismissive* about it with another person who cared for her...RGH. -- "Why did you call Harkless on me?" "A woman lives alone, she has to be vigilant." "I seem dangerous to you?" wow you really don't spend any time around women do you -- I hope Jessica is Anna's little sister all grown up and she kicks your ass -- Ivyyyyyyyy no please be safe kidlet -- 'Harkless bent, retrieved the vodka bottle-- 'Grey Goose, the label read-- and without hesitation dumped its entire contents over Honey's head. marry me -- HOT DAMN I CALLED IT -- "You didn't even look into what happened to her, did you? That's how self-centered you are." oh mannnn i can understand not doing it immediately afterwards but over two decades you never even... DAVID. COME ON. -- ghosts. eat the mayor already. you are not doing your job. -- "Do you have any idea who I am?" "We know," the woman from CPS said. "Unfortunately." Heh. Get him, Tina. -- "You punched me in the face." "You deserve worse." *heart eyes* -- "What I need from you is open-mindedness. Actual, authentic open-mindedness, not that condescending humoring attitude you usually have." I think she just turned David into a smoking cinder -- Alicia do not deliver candy to him he can get it his own damn self at least leave it on the porch pls do not go inside -- "I don't believe my sister committed suicide. I think she was murdered." ohhhhhhhh that makes SO much sense (esp considering that it took place in that house) but it still blindsided me. -- GAH alicia noooo -- "Not at all," Baldwin said, in that same maddeningly reasonable tone. "But I do find your anger interesting." go straight to hell do not pass go do not collect $200 -- "But..." "But there comes a point where disbelief turns into stupidity." "I'd say we got there quite a while ago." Have I told...you lately...that I love you -- "Five minutes. Ten tops." "That's what Alicia said. IF YOU GET RALPH KILLED I WILL-- -- "Isn't that reason to do this? For her?" ohhhh you little weasel -- "...made me promise to send him people every now and then." OH SHIT -- do not even bring up the possibility of Harkless being involved i am still mourning Ralph -- "How do we get started?" she asked, ignoring him. "Do y'all mutter some incantations? Sacrifice a llama?" I will start a riot if you die Harkless -- Charlie Templeton you BADASS -- "Oh, fuck this," Harkless said, and rose. **composing sonnets** -- 'The leering thing had left off Katherine's corpse, was staring at him. No, he amended. Not at *him*. At the blood on his forearm.' AHHHHH as if those things aren't creepy enough -- IVY. SOMEBODY CALL AN EXORCIST. -- oh god Chris is not only scum he's Nice Guy Incel scum. "When I was right in front of her!" fuck offffffffff ((Anna deserved better friends/boyfriend material darnit)) -- Jessica has remembered her Hatpin Panic and used the history lesson well -- "Do you believe yet?" she asked. I BELIEVE I AM TRAUMATIZED -- I love that David follows the 'out of bullets? gonna throw the gun at you' reflex -- ANNA. The young women! IVY. my heart cannot handle this -- "Oh, that. It's super-soldier serum. Like they give Captain America." Mike looked at him blankly. Then he scowled. "You're full of shit." I love this kid -- "I'm scared of myself." don't mind me i'm just over here sweeping up the shattered pieces of my heart -- Harkless has the kiddos yesssssssssssss -- "Run." Annnnnd a sweet, haunting (ha) scene turns terrifying with a single word And thus ends my longest review so far. ;) There's just so much to react to in these books! Up next is either Wolf Land or Savage Species (on the Janz front, there *is* a new Kealan Patrick Burke out...)
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SYNOPSIS:
J is a student at a school deep in a forest far away from the rest of the world. J is one of only twenty-six students, all of whom think of the school’s enigmatic founder as their father. J’s peers are the only family he has ever had. The students are being trained to be prodigies of art, science, and athletics, and their life at the school is all they know—and all they are allowed to know. But J suspects that there is something out there, beyond the pines, that the founder does not want him to see, and he’s beginning to ask questions. What is the real purpose of this place? Why can the students never leave? And what secrets is their father hiding from them? Meanwhile, on the other side of the forest, in a school very much like J’s, a girl named K is asking the same questions. J has never seen a girl, and K has never seen a boy. As K and J work to investigate the secrets of their two strange schools, they come to discover something even more mysterious: each other. This one was a DNF for me (sortof; I skimmed through the last half). There were some things I really enjoyed. Malerman's writing style continues to be very clear and conversational. Some great lines-- "His beard as dark as misinformation." "And the only thing worse than receiving all your information from one source is believing it entirely." "Needs, to him, was more a painting than a book. Let someone else hang it in their home." And using 'Time Enough At Last' for the chapter title where J starts reading the book was perfect. 💗 But. About a quarter in, I wrote: "Book's well-written, but not enjoyable. Slow burn beginnings can work, but not when children are being gaslit, tortured, and murdered." In the end, that was too much for me, along with the other big issue I had, the same one I had with Owen King's 'Sleeping Beauties': Queer people EXIST. All the women in the world fall asleep? Trans people exist. Genderqueer people exist. Boys and girls are separated, given no knowledge of the other to avoid 'distraction'? One of those forty-something kids (at least) is gonna be queer. If either book had been written in the 40s/50s, then I could understand. Not that we didn't exist back then, of course, but we weren't a consideration. But it's 2019. I've read plenty of recent books, horror and otherwise, that never mention queer people, and it's not a deal-breaker for me. But if we're going to have gender issues/essentialism as a big part of the plot? Different story. SYNOPSIS:
It sounded like the perfect first date: canoeing across a chain of lakes, sandwiches and beer in the cooler. But teenagers Amelia and James discover something below the water’s surface that changes their lives forever. It’s got two stories. It’s got a garden. And the front door is open. It’s a house at the bottom of a lake. For the teens, there is only one rule: no questions. And yet, how could a place so spectacular come with no price tag? While the duo plays house beneath the waves, one reality remains: Just because a house is empty, doesn’t mean nobody’s home. Just finished this one last night, and I liked it a lot. It was a quiet, dreamlike read, no gutpunch horror but just a constant uneasiness. Notes I took while reading: (some spoilers below) -- 'Both seventeen. Both afraid. But both saying yes.' My HEART. I already love these kids. -- They are so awkward and I want to hug them. -- 'Amelia wished she'd brought a camera. Then she decided it was okay that she didn't have one. She could bring one next time. Then she realized she was already thinking of next time.' awwwwwww -- "It's a fucking house!" she said. Then she squealed because she was on a first date and they'd discovered something crazy enough to call magic.' It's all going to go terribly wrong somehow but this is so sweet and fun -- "Hi, Amelia," he said, thinking a pretend-communication with her might help. It didn't. And he wished he hadn't. It made him feel more alone. Made her seem far away. Or like he was leaving her name down here. Like he was delivering Amelia's name to the darkness.' THAT LAST LINE -- "Two dates underwater. One up above. Good for us. We're insane." *snerk* -- the floating dresses are creepy as helllllll -- I love the spiderweb and the indoor pool. Such great eerie details. -- 'They'd agreed never to ask how or why. But neither had thought to ask *who*.' AUGH -- 'It was an offering. A welcoming. A gift.' okay Amelia please gtfo now ..... you're not leaving are you. SYNOPSIS:
The year is 1988. High school sophomores Abby and Gretchen have been best friends since fourth grade. But after an evening of skinny-dipping goes disastrously wrong, Gretchen begins to act…different. She’s moody. She’s irritable. And bizarre incidents keep happening whenever she’s nearby. Abby’s investigation leads her to some startling discoveries—and by the time their story reaches its terrifying conclusion, the fate of Abby and Gretchen will be determined by a single question: Is their friendship powerful enough to beat the devil? This review took a bit longer than I expected because I had to take an Intensity Break (I was *not* expecting a book with a Top 80s Hits playlist at the front to go quite this hard). I'm not exaggerating when I say I found this to be scarier than The Exorcist. At least in that one, the adults realize something is deeply wrong and find the best people they can to help. Here, it's just one terrified kid who knows the truth. Brrrr. (on a related note, I wanted pretty much every adult in this book to eat glass) Reactions I wrote while reading (spoilers ahead): -- I'm pretty sure I own all the songs in the chapter titles. 😄 I love the playlist and the yearbook quotes are so spot-on and equally parts nostalgic and cringey. -- 'For Abby, "friend" is a word whose sharp corners have been worn smooth by overuse. "I'm friends with the guys in IT," she might say, or "I'm meeting some friends after work." But she remembers when the word 'friend' could draw blood.' Just beautiful, and so accurate. -- "That's the day of my birthday party." "Oh, right. But you can move that." Whenever the demon arrives, I want it to eat Mrs. Link. -- Abby, sweetheart, I wish I could hug you. ((I wrote this about ten pages in, but upon finishing the book, just assume it is always my mindset)) -- "Abby's invitation was first," she said, eyes blazing. "So you're the rude one. And she's not a liar. I saw it." I would officially die for you Gretchen -- 'The la-di-da part of Mt. Pleasant where all the houses were dignified and either overlooked the water or had enormous yards, and if anyone saw a black person walking down the street who wasn't Mr. Little, they would pull their Volvo over and ask if he was lost.' ...yow. I am ALL for nostalgia that doesn't indulge in rose-colored glasses. -- 'One of her rules was that Gretchen could only have six magazines and five books at a time.' okay only a demon could ever be scarier than *that* -- 'an eternal process of self-classification' is my new favorite description of the teenage years -- Of course Gretchen's parents are Reagan Republicans -- Oh *hell* no her parents need to disappear -- "I'm going to kill her," she whispered. Then she wiped her nose and looked up at Abby. "Don't ever tell I said that." I fully support you and will provide an alibi, go right ahead and kill that abusive creep. -- I adore the little extras throughout: the newspaper article, the postcards... -- Weird Al mention! <3 -- Oh man, those tense, short, hurtful teenage fights. -- Dearly But Not Queerly. Ah, early 'no homo' slang, how I do not miss you. -- The 'she didn't have to help, but she *could*' section is so lovely. -- I want to believe the whole "Satan is your Roommate" pamphlet is fake for the book, but after seeing Chick Tracts, I just don't know. -- Riley needs to die horribly -- Shop smart. Shop S-Mart! -- Ah, AIDS jokes. Thank you 80s -- "Cool beans," Gretchen said. "Let's go fry my brains." I LOVE THIS KID -- Glee doing her homework while she's waiting for acid to kick in is pretty much me at any party ever -- okay Gretchen never mind providing an alibi I'll just go ahead and kill your parents *for* you HOW DARE THEY -- "No matter what happens," she said. "I'll never hurt you." i'm mildly freaking out -- 'Margaret talked in a way that made Abby feel helpless. Everything was the way Margaret said it was, and if you didn't agree you were a moron. Arguing was useless.' I've had friends like that. -- "I'm not an idiot. I know what drugs are. If you're really her friend, get her to stop." Yes, that's so very useful, what an amazing and caring teacher you are -- my heart just *hurts* for Abby's mom -- I am cringing so damn hard at Abby trying to explain to Gretchen's asshole parents what happened -- "You were doing drugs?" I KNEW IT I *knew* that was what you jackasses would hone in on -- "You two don't care about her. You just want to control her. You hit Gretchen! All you care about is that she doesn't embarrass you!" They're going to make your life hell for this, but you're spot-on, kid -- "I'll save you, Gretchen," Abby swore to herself. "They can't stop me from saving you." You should *not* be in this position alone. -- Oh yeah Slave Day isn't horrifying at ALL -- "Don't leave me alone," Gretchen begged. "I can't do this on my own. I can't fight it by myself. I'm sorry for what I did, but he makes me. He's always whispering in my hear, telling me what to do, making me hurt people. He wants me to be all alone, with no one left but him. I'm sorry, Abby. I'm so, so sorry." Just run my heart straight through the wringer why don't you -- oh god no the demon's fully in control now and i might cry -- Margaret that is not safe -- 'not me not me help me not me' So this is me NEVER SLEEPING AGAIN. -- omfg the urban legends being passed around along with the D&D rumors -- oh my damn Abby's mom I adore you -- ...okay I adore you a little less support your kid in private not just in front of the principal -- Oh, Glee. :( -- that scene where they find out exactly what's wrong with Margaret JESUS CHRIST body horror nightmares for all time -- okay no i am not reading the section with Max I know he dies I don't need to actually see the words -- I love that the exorcist just told her to 'stay frosty' -- "Hot damn!" he shouted. "We got ourselves a demon!" omfg Brother Lemon you NERD. ((also wtfffff, were you not sure *before* you did all that?!?)) -- 'The door swung open and Abby turned to see Brother Lemon approaching the bed. In one hand was a steaming teakettle. In the other was the funnel.' oh shit -- "I will mortify the flesh until she gives up the demon," Brother Lemon shouted. "I'm not screwing up again!" UM -- I know you have no idea what you're doing but do NOT run off and leave this child all alone to deal with this aaaaaaand you just did -- well there's a song I'll never be able to listen to again without getting the shakes -- I know this whole scene is creepy but 'old and dried up and thirty' made me snicker -- "And I'm just a stupid little girl!" Abby shouted back. "But I will not stop because you have my best friend and I am coming for her! Do you hear me? I am coming for her and there is nothing you can do, because I will not stop, I will never stop, I will never give up because I want my friend back!" Don't mind me, just over here sobbing. -- ohhhhhh she's using their past as something holy to fight the demon and my heart cannot handle this my *girls* -- "I love you dearly and I love you queerly and no demon is bigger than this!" **crying** -- 'And then the exorcist saved her life.' ohhhhhhhh. -- "You always drove me everywhere," Gretchen said. "I figured it was time to return the favor." GRETCHEN I could not have asked for a better ending. Poignant and bittersweet, it's beautiful and it fits perfectly. Hendrix is officially on my short list of "buy their book the minute it comes out". |
A WORLD WITH A BLUER SUNMy reviews are set up a little like live-tweets: I write down lines I like/impressions as I read, and then transcribe. Reviews will contain spoilers, but I'll give a warning before they start. Archives
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