SYNOPSIS: Tananarive Due, a winner of the American Book Award and an Essence and Los Angeles Times bestselling author, brings you her debut short fiction collection! The title novella, Ghost Summer, won a Kindred Award from the Carl Brandon Society (originally published in The Ancestors). This collection includes Patient Zero, The Lake, The Knowing, Herd Immunity, and many other stories.
This book is such an amazing, perfect way to kick off Women in Horror Month. My favorites are the ones set in Gracetown, but none of the stories left me with a 'meh' reaction. ((special mention to Free Jim's Mine, because I started that one, had to get the kids to bed, and then woke up the next morning having somehow sprained my wrist. Couldn't write notes on it, but I *had* to finish it anyway and then read it aloud to anyone who'd hold still long enough)) There's a theme running throughout so many of the stories of children forced to grow up before their time, sometimes to the point of parenting the adults in their lives. The kids in these stories, god; I love all of them. Quotes/Lines (spoilers below!) THE LAKE -- Abbie is very much striking me as the 'too much money and too little sense' type. Who drops $150,000 on a house on a whim?? -- 'But there would be boys at the school, strong and tireless boys, who could help her mend what needed fixing. In her experience, there were always willing boys.' UM. This is setting off creeper-bells. -- 'In retrospect, she was foolish. But in all fairness, how could she have known?' There's just a subtle skin-prickling wariness to the tone of this story that I love. -- 'No rows of desks would mar her classroom' *how do you do, fellow kids gif* -- Dismissing the girls immediately and being way too studious of the boys. The way she's thinking about Derek-- he is sixteen. He's a kid. Hire a goddamn contractor like the rest of us lady -- oh no he's fifteen even worse -- "But you know, Derek, it's easy for people to get the wrong idea if you say you're going to a teacher's house..." His face was bright red now. "Oh, I wouldn't say nothing. I mean...anything." RED ALERT HELL NO I HAVE READ 'GIFT OF FEAR' THIS IS GOING NOWHERE GOOD this kid better make it through okay i stg -- "It's all right if you don't have trunks," she said. "My back yard is private, and there's no harm in friends taking a swim." Where's a gator when you need one -- 'That was what she and Mary Kay had always believed. Anyone who thought differently was just being politically correct. In ancient times, or in other cultures, a boy Jack's age would already have a wife, a child of his own.' The hell is wrong with you?? Is your friend Mary Kay Letourneau? -- HOLY SHIT IT IS -- oh god this ending. GAH. **full-body shudder** SUMMER -- 'Grandmother had passed three summers ago after a stroke in her garden, and now that she was gone, Danielle had a thousand and one questions for her. The lost questions hurt the most.' My grandma passed from Alzheimer's last year, and the truth in this. -- 'Danielle wasn't sure if she was patient and wise, or if she was a tragedy unfolding slowly, one hot summer day at a time.' This LINE. -- 'The baby's legs banged against the crib railings, but Danielle knew her wailing was only for show. Lola was thirteen months old and a liar already.' ...okay, you absolutely need some help before you do something unforgivable. That is PPD rearing its ugly head. -- So her husband suspects she might have it, but she's determined she's too strong for such a thing to affect her. That's such a common, awful trap. -- "Only a fool would buy one of those plots." I love connected short stories. -- *thank you* for calling Odetta. Also hooray for horrifying mental imagery that will never go away, I have never been more glad that my kids are past infancy -- "I bet there's some folks who see it as a blessing in disguise, even if they'd never say so." I had PPD, and I would have. Ohhh, this is gonna unsettle me for *days*. Just picture me holding the book at arm's length as I keep reading. GHOST SUMMER -- 'Later, Davie would wonder why he hadn't realized right then that something was very, very wrong. Had known, maybe, but hadn't wanted to.' Poor kiddo. -- 'Not 'Mommy', he reminded himself. He was twelve years old now. He was going to middle school in the fall, and he'd heard enough nightmarish stories about middle school to know that if any of the other kids heard him call his mother Mommy, he'd come home with a bloody nose every day.' He's not wrong. Middle school = hell on earth -- 'Watching, Davie remembered that Dad hadn't always been a grown man. He'd been a little boy once, just like him, and he looked like a boy again, clinging to his mother in a way he always warned Davie not to cling to Mommy. Mom.' I'm fascinated by whatever ghosts he's looking forward to seeing, of course, but even without the supernatural elements, the human narrative here, this little boy navigating his way to adulthood, is just captivating. -- 'Ignorance was the only mercy he could still do for them.' Bless his little heart he's trying so hard and needs a hug -- 'Neema wasn't just a ghost hunter-- Neema, it turned out, was a kamikaze.' I love this kid too. -- 'She knows, Davie realized. She wants to know if I know too.' *sound of my heart shattering into a million pieces* -- 'But he lay that shotgun on his shoulder and walked away. That's the part everyone forgets.' I'm gonna cry -- 'The secret weighed heavier with each passing moment. But the Timmons boys carried it. They were stronger than anyone could have imagined.' Babies what happened to you oh god -- 'If the three boys weren't hurting, they wouldn't be trying so hard to be heard. But Neema didn't need to have that spelled out. Like all ghosts, they just wanted their story known.' <3 -- "This one time Davie. I need you to grow up very fucking fast." THIS IS NOT GOOD FOR MY HEART RATE -- 'Combined, their feet sounded like an army, and Davie hoped they were.' FREE JIM'S MINE -- so this was where I sprained my wrist and took no notes but just know this story absolutely kicked my ass and it's amazing THE KNOWING -- 'I guess she fells like she'll be all right if she just runs away from it, as if you could run away from your own head.' What a situation. :( -- "Mama, it ain't you. Knowing ain't the same as deciding. TV Guide don't decide what's on TV." This kid is amazing. -- "Telling to hurt somebody is the worst thing a person can do. Even the devil couldn't do nothing worse." ... 'I don't think she can help it. I was only six when she did it to me' Oh look all my sympathy for the mom just evaporated -- 'When you grow up around someone like Mama and you hear about it all the time, you know everybody has a turn, and you just try and find something interesting every day to make you glad it hasn't happened yet.' Ohhh, hon. That's so mature and a position you never should've been put in. I wish you could've stayed with Rosa. LIKE DAUGHTER -- 'So, yes, I understood why Neecy needed looking after. No one else was doing it.' This entire situation is infuriating and heartbreaking. -- 'Neither of them had learned, after two divorces, that people can't be applied to wounds like gauze.' DAMN. AFTERMOON -- werewolf story ahhhhhhhh -- "How did you know about me?" "The music. If you didn't have the genes, all you'd hear was Muzak." Worldbuilding adoration ahoy. (also the doctor's sense of humor is perfect) TRIAL DAY -- 'Bernadette never said these things aloud like an evil stepmother in a fairy tale, but she didn't have to. Letitia knew words were only part of who people were, and usually the least important part.' *fills out adoption papers for yet another fictional child* -- No wonder he shrank in her eyes. Also, the sheer toxicity of her father's relationship... -- "This is one o' them times you got a choice, Letitia. You can do what you want and hope things don't turn out wrong, or you can do what you know will make things right." 1) that is a hell of a line 2) I had a cat named Midnight so I'm just gonna skim from this point on thanks -- OH thank goodness -- 'The sound of that purring engine as it drove away was as sweet as the memory of Daddy's laughter with Brother on the porch that night.' my goddamn HEART help PATIENT ZERO -- 'But Veronica told me the NFL people had a meeting and decided not to have football anymore' This story is going to hit SO hard right now isn't it -- 'I've been staring at my Dan Marino picture all day, and I think the handwriting on the autograph looks like Dr. Ben's. But I'm afraid to ask anyone about that.' Ohhhh kid. -- "People are giving it to each other. They don't usually know they're sick for two weeks, and by then they've passed it to a lot of other people." ...so when was this written again -- Just the little hints of how *badly* things are falling apart outside, brrrrrrr -- 'She said it was the security code for my door. She said she wanted to give the code to me because my buzzer wasn't working, and I might need to leave my room if she overslept and nobody came to bring me food.' This amazing woman, trying to give him comfort and normalcy as best she can. DANGER WORD -- ZOMBIES!! ((normally not my thing, but at this point I would buy a copy of a restaurant menu if Tananarive Due wrote it so I am curious)) -- 'He'd done what he had to do to save the boy, then shut the memories away where they couldn't sneak into his dreams. Then drank enough to make the dreams blurry.' I love you so much sir -- 'Daddy, she'd called him. She hadn't called him that in years.' Oh okay so this is going to be a multiple-tissues story -- His love and practicality with this kid even when he knows the worst is coming I *cannot*. Also going to pick up the two YA zombie novels she mentions in the afterword; neverending TBR list! REMOVAL ORDER -- oh NO not fleas visible like that. We had a regular at the donut shop and you could see the fleas crawling on his white socks when he came up to the counter. -- My grandma was fortunate to never get bedsores, but all the rest of this, having to move her and her screaming in pain and just not understanding why any of it was happening... worst memories. -- 'A gunshot exploded inside the house.' Yeah, I thought that was what he was going to do. Jesus. HERD IMMUNITY -- 'He left a trail of candy wrappers. Chocolate bars mostly, always the minis.' My apocalypse counterpart. -- "People who were careful," he said.' Yeahhh, because everyone else who got sick just wasn't as dedicated to their safety as you are. Jackass. -- Taking the stuffed elephant from the fair, bless -- Ohhhh, I don't want to know what's inside the Rescue Center please do not open the door thanks. -- 'Make sure everyone in your party takes a full cup. Parents, watch your children drink before drinking yourself.' oh god no -- 'Kyle slept on as Nayima pressed her lips to his.' WHAT the HELL. He SAID he wanted you to stay back. No still means no in the middle of the apocalypse, lady-- and what if he actually did get lucky instead of being naturally immune? Slim chance, but not for you to decide. -- 'By dawn, Nayima awoke to the sound of his retching. ... Nausea came first. Nausea came fast.' oh christ, this was told in such a sweet way, trying to find connection in a destroyed world, but really you stalked and murdered a man. Go to hell. -- 'The man didn't turn to look at her as she stood over him and picked through his things.' Go to hell *faster*. Also, I like how he's back to being 'the man' instead of Kyle or someone you absolutely 'can't' live without now that you ignored his explicit wishes and killed him. CARRIERS -- 'Naymia's sleep had turned restless as she aged' Oh, so happy to see you got to have a long life, asshole -- 'She fired once into the dark and hoped she'd hit him. Fucking cats.' I remember you being so happy to see Tango after your grandmother was killed. Is that part of you entirely gone, after everything you went through and everything you *did*? -- ...she named one of her pet cats Tango. I am feeling things against my will here -- 'Of course he did. Toys and gadgets. That was Raul.' Yeah, god forbid the guy like the read, or remember his family and happier times and want to talk about them. Just awful. -- 'She jacked a shell into the chamber. "You could've shot me before I did all that work," Raul said.' Pffffft. -- "She doesn't have one," he said. "What?" "Nobody bothered to name her. In the records, she's called Specimen 120."' noooo, poor baby -- 'Makeup had yet to make a comeback, except the enhanced red lips favored by both men and women. Full of life.' I love this little worldbuilding snippet. -- 'the anecdote about her extracted tooth violated guidelines' Oh, well, we obviously can't have THAT. I wouldn't go anywhere near that place either. -- 'dear Jesus, this angel had Gram's nose and plump, cheerful cheeks' **cries** SENORA SUERTE -- You seem pleasant. Eesh. -- I love the story of how this piece came about. VANISHINGS -- 'A mother should see it first, not last.' So much denial and pain, all through this story.
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SYNOPSIS:
Ghosts have always walked there. Now they’re not alone… In the depths of Edinburgh, an evil presence is released. Hannah and her colleagues are tour guides who lead their visitors along the spooky, derelict Henderson Close, thrilling them with tales of spectres and murder. For Hannah it is her dream job, but not for long. Who is the mysterious figure that disappears around a corner? What is happening in the old print shop? And who is the little girl with no face? The legends of Henderson Close are becoming all too real. The Auld De’il is out – and even the spirits are afraid. This is an odd review to write, because for about 80% of it I loved and adored it and it was an easy five-star rating: ghosts! Unique, incredibly detailed setting! Accidental time travel! Reincarnation! And then came the graphic rape/murder of two prostitutes (who were naturally never mentioned again, because what purpose do sex workers serve in a horror narrative but props in a Jack-the-Ripper homage?) and the entire thing kinda fell apart for me from there. And the reveal for the main whodunnit had some implications I didn't care for. That said, I will absolutely read Cavendish again- the idea behind the novel is fantastic and I loved her descriptive writing. Endings are hard to stick, especially with as many mysteries as she had going by the end. ((I did look up a couple of short documentaries on The Real Mary King's Close after finishing the book. Instant claustrophobia. Brrrrrr)) Quotes/Lines: ((spoilers below!)) -- 'They couldn't understand why she did this. Helping those too feckless, in their eyes, to help themselves.' I love you, ma'am. Also you need better friends. -- 'On cue, a corner of the room lit up gloomily to reveal a lifelike waxwork of a sickly looking woman, her face frozen in an agony of childbirth. She wore a filthy greying shift streaked with 'blood' and lay on one side, on the straw mattress Hannah had just described. The light shut off.' I don't know. A history tour of the Close sounds fascinating but something like that...there's a line between "times were dangerous and shouldn't be romanticized" and sensationalism. -- 'Mairead rummaged in the side pocket of her dress. "Damn. I've left my keys down there." Don't go alone! -- "I'll get changed and pop down for them. Won't take a sec." Dammit, Mairead, I liked you -- "This isn't funny. No one is supposed to be down here. Show yourself. This instant." "I don't think you'd like that." .......nope -- "Come on, Beth, you're making a spectacle of yourself." "Sir, I'm sure if your wife doesn't want to come down here, she doesn't have to. She can always wait for you upstairs." "No," he retorted. "I paid good money for these tickets." Now why didn't the ghost eat him? So fickle, I swear. -- "We've had a request from a group of paranormal investigators based in Leith. They want to do an all night vigil." This will end well -- OOOOOH, reincarnation? -- Ailsa is pissing me off, with the 'I'm worried, too, perhaps more since I've known the missing girl longer' and 'if she saw something (which Mairead told her she had; it's not like she'd made a huge habit of this before). -- "The little girl in the mist. She has no face." Yep, that'd be the rest of my life spent on a wide-open beach in Hawaii. No more claustrophobic alleyways, ever -- "Alone," Scott said. "It wants you to come alone." "No chance!" Atta girl, Hannah. You'd know how to survive a horror movie. -- 'Sorry about the letter, but I thought it was best this way. It must be a huge shock for you and this way we can avoid a scene and maintain our dignity.' You mean this way you won't have to face direct repercussions, you ass. (admitting to years of cheating and then breaking up with her in a letter? If the book had ended with Hannah tying you to a stake in the Close for the ghosts, I don't think I'd have blamed her) -- YAY using 'Romany' instead of the slur -- I'm thinking something is up with Ailsa (I mean, aside from her generally being a jerk) -- I am well and truly baffled by wtf is going on here. -- At least Mairead remembers things like involuntary committals to asylums and what medicine was generally like back then. -- I love Miss Carmichael offering to repair and clean Isobel's doll. ((well, technically, I'm sure her servant/maid is going to do most of the actual work, but still)) -- So Robbie does go with her! But he wasn't mentioned at the beginning flashback. Ohhh, what happens to the poor kid? Please don't tell me his parents made that horribly hard decision to let him leave home so early to get a better education only for him to have an accident in the supposedly-safer New Town. -- Yeah I'm just gonna skim over the rape/murders, thanks. Also, where the hell are their ghosts? They have just as much motivation to get rid of this creep as Miss Carmichael does, if not more (at least most of her killers were caught; I doubt their murders were much investigated at all). If we're going to veer toward Jack the Ripper style killings of sex workers mixed with the supernatural, can I for once please get the ghosts of his victims teaming up to kick his ass? -- 'Only the pressure of their hands on hers told Hannah the others were still there.' *waiting for the 'whose hand was I holding' Haunting of Hill House reference* -- Yep. <3 -- "I vote we go to the pub, sink a couple and try and come up with some sort of plan." I like the way you think, George. -- The psychics here have both been super helpful. "Oh noooo, this is bad! You are in such trouble. Can't help though, bye!" "...thanks?" -- I love that Murdoch Maclean is starting to get used to weirdly-dressed strangers popping into his shop. -- "You'll be safe there. As long as you take your medication and attend your appointments." I swear if this turns into some 'it's all in your head' nonsense... -- 'but even he couldn't be in two places at once'. You are currently fighting a murderous demon and traveling back and forth in time from an old newspaper shop. -- seriously what is up with Ailsa -- "Ye'll pass on our thanks to Miss Carmichael and ye'll tell her we'll manage fine from now on. Say goodbye to yer ma now. Ye'll no' be seeing her again." ... "Yer faither's right, Robbie. Ye're not one of us now." Oh, kiddo. :( (well, not exactly a kid anymore, given that he's in university, but that'd still be rough) -- 'Damn Miss Carmichael and her do-gooding ways! Damn Kirsten! Damn them both to hell!' Are...are we really going in this direction? -- We are. -- 'Finally, her mind cleared and she had her answers. All the ones that mattered anyhow.' CARE TO CLUE ME IN? Because-- *deep breath* What was Ailsa; cult member or possessed all along or killed and taken over sometime during the book? What was the random reference to Mairead needing to 'take her medication'? Why was Mairead's mother there and her house lived in for some people and then boarded up and empty for others? Why those brutal sexual violence scenes from Bain's pov if he's just a red herring? (not that I much care to read stuff like that anyway, but it seems especially unnecessary when that's the only role the women played in the narrative) What was going on with Isobel? Why did they have to stay in the pentagram? I wouldn't think they can protect the lines and keep the spirit contained from inside the thing. -- The one thing that is plain and clear is that Robbie had Miss Carmichael killed, and I honestly can't stand that ending, because he was an adult. Told to stay away by his parents because he didn't belong in Old Town anymore, but also rejected by the girl he liked because he didn't come from wealth? Yeah, that's tough, but there are lots of Fish Out Of Water narratives without the subject murdering people. Miss Carmichael, our main pov to the past, being murdered by someone she tried to help just comes across as an endorsement of the quote at the beginning-- that if she'd just stayed where she 'belonged' and left Robbie in Old Town, she'd still be alive. And I'm sure that's not what was intended. This book has a bunch of 4 and 5 star reviews; it's obviously not what most other people took from the text. This might just be a 'me' thing, which is partly while I'll be giving Cavendish another shot. SYNOPSIS: In this masterpiece follow-up to her critically acclaimed short story collection Cruel Works of Nature, author Gemma Amor winds 11 new, hand-illustrated tales of terror. A true artist of atmosphere and emotional horror, Amor's stories bring readers to the edge and dangles them off.Readers will journey to the depths of hell, go on a daddy-daughter date, learn what's locked in Lee's basement, watch a mother battle postpartum depression, eat the world's messiest birthday cake with Brian, and try to survive in the English countryside during the blitz.
I haven't read Cruel Works of Nature yet (eternally behind, that's me), but reading this just bumped it way up in my queue. The stories here are at turns beautiful and horrifying (sometimes both). I *love* the illustrations; they're unsettling and fit the stories perfectly. And speaking of images, Amor has some really wonderful ones in here (the Devil Kid in 'I Am Ghost' and the man next to the desk in 'Have You Seen My Dog?' spring immediately to mind) The foreword explains that 'Justine' includes rape, abuse, and suicidal ideation. And 'The Strangler' deals with postnatal depression. Very grateful to know this going in. ((and I know that some people think warning for triggers will keep people from reading that work entirely, but Justine turned out to be my favorite of the collection, seconded closely by Caleb)) Quotes/Lines: ((spoilers below!)) HAVE YOU SEEN MY DOG? -- "Are you a Doctor?...But you're a woman." UGH one of these guys. -- 'How cruel old age is, I thought, not for the first time. How cruel, and how indiscriminate.' I don't know if this line would've hit as hard as it did if my grandma wasn't in the late stages of Alzheimer's, but...yeah. -- "No, I don't believe you. I think you know something about my dog." Call for help NOW -- "He's dangerous, be careful," I croaked, rubbing my neck. Linda smiled, unconcerned. "So am I, dear" she said, lifting a giant arm and flexing her bicep.' Everybody needs a Linda. -- Aw, puppy! -- Yeah, that guy needs help and the dog needs a safer home asap. -- would you quit sending Linda away she might be able to help you -- 'Offence being the best form of defence' NOT IN THIS CASE will you at least text Linda so she can come with you or so *anyone* knows where you're going?? -- "Well, you're an idiot, Miriam, and I say that as a friend." Seconded. -- AUGH NOPE NOPE NOPE NIGHTMARES FOREVER -- oh Copper, sweetie. And poor Albert, too. I can't even imagine coming fully back to yourself and realizing *that*. PURE WATER -- "That was years ago!" "You gaffer-taped me to a lamppost dressed as a goat and shaved my bollocks." "It was a stag do! That was the whole point!" "In December." "You survived." I can absolutely picture these two idiots and I love them already. -- do not drink from that wtfffffff JUSTINE -- "Don't say it," Justine interrupts furiously. And so the guy proceeds to say it. *eyeroll* -- At least she has her mom. <3 -- 'She rubs at the skinny, pale scars around her slender wrists and feels the full force of her hate coursing through every tiny capillary in her body. She feels as if it will shoot out of her feet and speed through the earth and put roots down far into the ground, and eventually, instead of a woman, there will be a bitter, black, poison tree around which nothing will grow except thorns and weeds.' -- Ohhhhhhh. On the one hand, a smart strategy, but on the other hand god, her poor mom. -- 'Here lies Uriah Dice, she thinks. But not for long.' Make it worth it, hon. If you can. :( -- 'There are bodies, lining the valley.' The descriptions after this are terrifying. -- 'She is in a forest of silent, hanging corpses, the only living thing in the land of death.' -- 'Justine met Uriah at work, or more specifically, at a work party.' okaaaaay we're getting into flashbacks of what happened and I might end up skimming -- 'She did something she wished every day after that one for the rest of her life that she hadn't. She wiped her mouth on the back of her hand...and laughed at him.' Honey, no, none of what happens after this is your fault. More creepy guys at bars should get puked on, honestly. -- 'She packed her things wearily into a plastic crate and made her way down to the underground parking lot' no no no no -- 'CALL ME' ahhhhhh fuck *off* creep -- 'It's a woman's health clinic, with a particular role to serve: that of helping women in trouble. Women like Justine.' No. :( -- 'And she will blame herself.' Why can't I bring you into the real world long enough to hug you -- "This is all your fault," he sobbed. "Yours!" I'd say fuck off and die, but you've succeeded at the second part. God. I hope Justine finds what she needs and gets some kind of finality to all this. I'm gonna need to take a week-long break from reading entirely if this has a sad ending. ((also, the sole flaw I can find in this story is that a lot of description is given to the fact that Uriah is a fat man, and I'm hoping there are fat protagonists later in the book to kinda balance this out)) -- 'She realizes, in retrospect, that Uriah was probably in love with her, in his own, terrible way. Retrospect and hindsight are harmful things, in Justine's mind. They are clubs with which to beat herself when the world turns to black.' -- 'It doesn't matter what she says or what she does, what sentence he is given and for how long he will never, ever accept the truth of his own behavior. In his mind, he is still a boy, and that boy is not to blame. NOT MY FAULT. Suddenly, the words light up like fire in her brain. NOT MY FAULT. Justine swallows, feeling herself fill up with something hot, and powerful, and almost hopeful. It is not my fault, she thinks.' This. Story. From here to the end I was pretty much a crying mess. I AM GHOST -- 'The ritual starts in the bathroom, as many rituals do, with a knife, and a mirror.' ...therapy is sorely needed I think. -- 'Just a simple, clean white bedsheet. One that covers me from head to toe. Memorable, yet faceless. A blank. People don't remember the guy in the sheet. A humble square of fabric. The perfect disguise.' What the hell is he planning to do -- 'I stumble back. My heartbeat slows. The smile is still going. I watch in horror as the top of the kid's head starts to flip backwards like he's a fucking pez dispenser, like someone has cut his head in two with thin, impossibly sharp razor wire' AUGH RAT GIRL -- I thought the illustration for this one would be disturbing af and I WAS NOT DISAPPOINTED -- "Why do you have a girl in your basement?! I thought it was a dog or something! No way. I'm not cool with this, Lee!" Lee ignores him, grinning from ear to ear.' Bash this little creep over the head and get her *out* of there, Timmy. I'm having The Girl Next Door flashbacks and if that's the way this story starts going I'm skipping it sorry -- Okay. I can see where, from a child's perspective, Lee might honestly believe he's doing the right thing in protecting her from curious doctors and scientists and the like. He still worries me, and Timmy definitely needs to stay close and supervise and get her out if Lee goes fully awful. -- 'Lee is the exact opposite of Timmy, sure, but Timmy wonders if he really is a bad kid, at heart. Timmy doesn't get a chance to find out, unfortunately. Neither does Lee. What he gets instead, is a shiny black Audi A4 sedan, driving too fast.' oh *shit* -- 'It is a good thing that there is no mirror.' nnnnnnnnnnnnnn MY BEST FRIEND -- 'And I had to eat, didn't I? What else was I supposed to do? Starve down here?' Yiiiiiikes -- 'It could be a goddamned Wendigo for all I knew, or cared.' Foreshadowing?? -- Yep. -- 'They say that mankind has no other natural enemy, no real predator. They are wrong.' This is me never going into a wooded area ever again. HEART OF STONE -- 'As soon as she tells me this, I realize I hate Giles, even if he is only nine years old. I do not want to compete for Jenny's love. Her love belongs only to me.' Yeahhhhhh, gee, I wonder why Jenny's mom left you. -- Oh, and a restraining order? Nice. But of course you still get visitation, because fuck a kid's safety, right? -- 'So sacred, I wish I could turn her to stone, preserve her like this forever.' If anything happens to this poor kid so help me... -- 'I pocket the number, and try to forget about it, for a while. It's too soon after the last one, really. I should space things out a bit.' how many bodies do you have in your basement -- All right, no, Julie is an asshole (though more garden-variety than whatever the hell he is). You don't upset your kid; she can have two jewelry boxes for pete's sake. -- 'and if she was famous, she would belong to everyone, instead of me. I had to do something to protect her from all that. Didn't I?' Well shit. CELL BLOCK B -- "You don't get shoes on death row, McCready." Well, this bad situation just got worse. -- "Warden's coming! Better hide!" Um, yeah, I'd sure as hell say so. -- Are they in hell? Purgatory? -- "I needed to see...inside him. To see if he was like me." eeeeeeeeep A BIRTHDAY CAKE FOR BRIAN -- my only note for this story is 'AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH' THE STRANGLER -- 'Later, someone, a person like you maybe, might call it postnatal depression, but my poor kid, my darling boy, my life and soul, who has no idea what postnatal depression is, doesn't give a shit about that. He is having a full-scale toddler tantrum, which is very normal, healthy developmental thing, or so I'm told. I am not having a healthy, normal reaction to it, however.' .............. -- 'And I don't blame the kid, honestly. Because all he needs is his mother. Objectively, I can see that. I can recognize that. I just can't do anything about it.' I don't remember a whole lot from my daughter's first year of life, but I do remember these feelings. -- 'Because it is so hard to love someone so much whilst failing them with every waking breath, failing them so hard you can barely look yourself in the eye anymore, or anyone else, for that matter.' And here come the waterworks again CALEB -- The poor cat. :( -- 'Apparently splintering glass is more dangerous than the bomb blast itself, or so someone told me. Someone is always telling me something. War is a fertile land for gossip.' -- 'He had dirt on his neck and his fingernails were atrocious, black, and ragged. I swallowed back my disgust and surprise, and pushed him towards the table. City folk, I thought, but kept it to myself.' Orrrr traumatized child? The kid's running from a war zone; I doubt a manicure is high on his list of priorities. -- What kind of creepy-ass cat-murdering rituals is Johnny up to while you're busy judging parents who've sent their son away for his own safety? -- 'Is there curse on my farm? First the cat, then the milk, and now the chickens. Because, you see, two things concern me greatly, in relation to that. A boy, who came on the train, a boy who never talks, not ever, not a single word at all. This all started happening around the time he arrived.' Lady... -- I like the doctor; listen to the doctor. -- "Stay with me," she pleaded, and so of course I did. I put my arm around her and watched as she opened the telegram.' :( -- Ohhhh, so now Johnny is stealing hair from your brush. Yes, this is perfectly normal. RUN PLZ -- "Come out," he said in an odd, quiet voice. "Why won't you come out, darling? It's your Edward. I've come back for you." GET A GUN -- I love the ending of this one!! Synopsis: A meek man enters a spooky theater for an all-night horror movie triple bill. An unscrupulous contractor messes with the wrong family. A single other discovers a bizarre link between her son and an unspeakable Lovecraftian horror. A con artist posing as an outcast from an Amish church gets more than he bargained for in the Indiana forest. And a college professor eager to make money by solving a decades-old cannibal atrocity learns the true meaning of terror in the Great Smoky Mountains.
In this collection of rarely-collected nightmares, you'll find tales of suspense, dread, and madness. It's time to take a journey to Jonathan Janz's Shadow Side. The second of the Night Worms exclusive books. Half the stories in this collection--Witching Hour Theatre, Old Order, and The Clearing of Travis Coble--are all available as individual short stories on Amazon. A Southern Evening had a nice twist to it and Witching Hour Theatre was wonderfully nostalgic, both in a "the community of late-night horror movies" sense and the "eighties slasher flicks" sense, but my favorite in this collection was Throwing Monsters. Quotes/Lines ((spoilers below!)) OLD ORDER -- I've known you for two and a half pages, Horace, and that's two and a half too long. -- "Dinner won't be ready for a while anyway, so you'll have plenty of good daylight to work." Ha. -- "What's that supposed to mean?" "It means you'll be gone by first light, a meal in your belly and your hands as soft as when you came." Call him out, Deek. <3 -- no wait I take it back, Deek, you can die too -- "I know who you are," the old woman said. "What I want to know is why you're in my house." Hi Agnes! ilu -- Agnes seems like such a goodhearted person (though I do hope it's a front so she can eat Horace's brain) -- Um, Belinda? Wha...? -- "Don't you have family?" "Haven't seen 'em in years." Probably because you do things like spy on girls when they're bathing you creep -- Okay what the heck is going on, is this some kind of fertility ritual? -- Please tell me all this expensive jewelry lying around the house is from all the people they've killed. -- "Or perhaps she would remember him fondly, a daring rogue who'd loved her and left without saying goodbye." ....ew. -- That's so cute, that you think they're calling the police instead of firing up the barbecue grill. -- "...Demeter..." Ooooh, harvest-related creepiness/sacrifice? -- Okaaaaaay I did NOT expect this to veer into rape/lobotomization. (I do appreciate the horrifying reveal as to what the 'pigs' are, but I'm not going to be reading this one again. Also, their nakedness 'revealing' that Daniel and Jimmy have vaginas-- why is that there? Why add that detail? Because it reads like a continuation of "look how weird and scary this family is" and ummmm.) On to the next one. Yeah. THE CLEARING OF TRAVIS COBLE -- ...does anyone know you're out here, Myers? -- You're meeting someone who's intelligent and prone to mind games *alone*? Yeahhh, this is gonna end well for you. -- 'Coble was innocent so there was no real danger in talking to him.' PFFFT. -- Uncle, wife, and kids disappeared without a trace? You are going to die. Only question is whether you find the bodies first. -- If this guy gets a hold of your notebook, you are TOAST. (well, I mean, even more than you already are) -- "I'll be going then." Wishful thinking... -- 'Ike was unbuckling his belt.' oh come onnnn A SOUTHERN EVENING -- 'and the goddamned Benbow urchins swarming all over the property like shabbily-dressed gnats' Aren't you a peach. -- 'Why couldn't men be men for a change?' yawwwwwwwn -- ...hang on just a minute is this character's name Mike Pence -- 'God, if those girls had been inside when the whole thing caved, there really would have been problems. Publicity like that could sabotage a project, not to mention harpooning a career.' *calling Melody from Wolf Land down on you* -- Tabitha, stab this condescending douche with a steak knife -- 'so far removed from civilization' Oh good, so the Benbows can kill you without interruption! -- 'His pants had been lowered to his ankles.' If this is another rape ending I am putting this book down. -- Aw, not the kids, they had nothing to do with this. -- 'what *happened* to Molly'? You remain, as always, a jackass. -- Fantastic twist there; I love it. THROWING MONSTERS -- "The monster only eats little boys who throw things when they're not supposed to." This is going to backfire on you SO hard. (I mean, the temptation is there as a parent, I get it, but it's not worth it) -- 'She hadn't meant to plant the idea, but she could see her words working on imagination, conjuring ghastly creatures and generally scaring the shit out of him. "Yes," she pressed on. "The Hitting Monster. The Screaming Monster." This poor kid. -- 'No apology. Eric never apologized. It was a point of pride for him.' Sounds like a real sweetheart. -- Not 'and her child would be *dead*' but 'and she'd get thrown in jail for neglect'? Go get eaten by that basement monster you just created somehow. -- "Were you watching him?" A beat. "Of course I was watching him." "How much did you see him drink?" "I didn't see him drink it." NOT THE TIME just explain so that poor kid can get help! -- 'but a couple of times--okay, a few times--she'd shaken him by the shoulders. If he'd only listen.' ... 'God, she thought. She loved him so much, but why did being a mom have to be so *hard*?' Ohh, hon. You need a therapist or at the very least someone to help watch the kiddo and a friend to talk to. -- Call. The. Cops. ((okay, depending, I mean they'd likely blame her for sleeping with Eric in the first place and therefore 'deserving' this shit.)) SOMEONE get the kid out of here, though. -- no no no NO do NOT go into the basement guard your child's door until the police get there. And CALL TOM. -- Bittersweet ending, it fits really well. And nice last line. WITCHING HOUR THEATRE -- 'He slid his hands into his coat pockets and crossed the street, careful to avoid a beat-up van dragging its muffler behind it like a spilled intestine.' -- A movie theater that shows a horror triple feature every Friday sounds like heaven and I want one -- Sid Haig!! :( -- "The feeling of community of sitting around a giant campfire with a group of old friends, was strong tonight." <3 -- "You could sit with me." "That would be nice." Aw, they're cute. -- 'Getting beaten to a pulp had to be better than feeling like a coward. Maybe.' Heh. -- I understand, Goth girl, that's when I would've left, too. -- You are gonna logic yourself into an early death Wilson. -- 'He had to go back inside because if he didn't, he might as well be dead anyway.' Your'e a good guy. Hope the two of you make it. -- Use one of the metal film reels! Better than nothing! -- Good boy. -- 'Both killers couldn't be dead. It was too soon.' This guy has seen Halloween. -- "You're a sick woman," he said, grinning despite himself.' <3 -- "One movie might be enough for tonight." They're still cute. SYNOPSIS: Aside from a quaint amusement park, the small town of Lakeview offers little excitement for Duane, Savannah, and their friends. They’re about to endure their ten-year high school reunion when their lives are shattered by the arrival of an ancient, vengeful evil.
The werewolf. The first attack leaves seven dead and four wounded. And though the beast remains on the loose and eager to spill more blood, the sleepy resort town is about to face an even greater terror. Because the four victims of the werewolf’s fury are changing. They’re experiencing unholy desires and unimaginable cravings. They’ll prey on the innocent and the depraved. They’ll settle old scores and act on their basest desires. Soon, they’ll plunge the entire town into nightmare. Lakeview is about to become Wolf Land. WEREWOLVES!!! One of my first horror loves, and in a book written by Jonathan Janz (who's more than made my auto-buy list). I knew I'd love this one, and I did, but there are a couple of caveats I need to add for other readers. An author's note at the beginning says, "This one, friends, is dark-- probably darker than anything I've ever written." I wrote in my notebook, "fingers crossed this refers to level of violence and not sexual assault". I now laugh sadly at my former self, because HOLY SHIT. People with rape triggers will want to be careful of this one. A lead character suffers extreme sexual abuse at the hands of her father and brothers, and there are references/memories of child molestation. There's a lot of misogyny in general here, from the horrifying example above to the more commonplace "not allllll men hey I'm a nice guy why won't you date me" variety. It's not rewarded by the text in any way, the people who deserve a comeuppance most certainly get one, but it's still a rough read. That said, I'm a huge fan of Janz's writing style-- the characters always feel real, whether you're rooting for them or hoping they get cannonballed into the sun-- and I know to time reading his endings after the kids go to bed because the final battle scenes move like bullets and Mom Is Not Getting Interrupted Thanks. This is a fast-paced, almost splatterpunk style read, and if you know you can handle the stuff mentioned above then absolutely grab a copy. Again, werewolves. ;) Quotes/Lines: ((spoilers below!)) -- Awww, the dedication. Jack Ketchum. <3 -- ...I like the sound of the Antonov sisters and hope they're referenced again, though the blonde, black and red hair has me picturing the Hocus Pocus witches oops -- "You had sex with girls back in high school, Glenn. What makes it so different now?" Die by werewolf, Weezer. And yes, Duane, why *do* you hang out with him? His scintillating conversational skills and enviable morals? -- "That's the problem with the world," Weezer said meditatively. "Not enough honesty. I say what's on my mind, and you two get all high and mighty on me." Throw him from the carrrrrr -- Oh Duane, sweetie, I'm sorry your parents were dickheads (you still need to throw Weezer from the car though) -- So, Mike, you lie to an 18-year old and tell her you're her age instead of 22. You lie to women about what you've actually been through to get them to sleep with you. Also, 'hot Hispanic chick'? 'some skank'? You're fucking gross, stay away from Savannah. -- So far Barb is my favorite -- oh god why are in Weezer's pov he's loathsome enough I don't need to be seeing his creepy-ass thoughts -- "Here's what's going to happen," she said slowly. "You're going to walk away and not talk to me again tonight." Her eyes swept him up and down. "Preferably not ever. I'm not interested in you. At all. Does that make sense?" HOT DAMN MELODY I LOVE YOU -- 'Duane hoped Melody hadn't been too vicious with him.' WHY? Why would you hope that when you *know* what he's like?? -- Aw, Joyce. *hugs* -- 'It was Glenn's friend, the one who looked like he'd own a Confederate flag.' OHHHHHHH -- 'Joyce took a moment to appraise him more carefully.' Nope, do *not* go down that road, you had it right the first time. -- 'Nor would it help to point out that Melody was a walking petri dish who was probably carrying about thirty strands of venereal disease.' Yes. Please denigrate another woman to soothe this predator of high-school girls. Good choice. -- oh good Weezer just went into the woods alone heeeeere werewolf -- GAH MIKE. ((also Glenn, damn. I have some problems with your choice of friends but that was honorable. Good on you.)) -- "Won't you flee so I can experience the pleasure of running you down?" Yeah, that'd be time for 'I don't have to outrun the werewolf, I just have to outrun you'. See ya, former classmates, I'm already gone -- Joyce, as much as I appreciate the 'I have to try' sentiment, you are gonna die -- Savannah just choked a werewolf with barbed wire I'm gonna propose -- "Run," he muttered to Savannah. "Fuck you," she said.' **heart eyes** -- oh no Melody is a werewolf now nooooo -- 'It was common knowledge she'd known a lot of guys. Not that Duane had ever enjoyed the privilege.' NOT THE TIME DUDE. -- Okay so Glenn, Melody, and Joyce are all wounded but still alive. According to the back cover, that leaves one more to turn. -- NO not Weezer he's awful enough without getting werewolf strength come on -- oh MELODY. It's okay, you're a werewolf now, go eat your brothers -- shit, your dad too. Eviscerate him he deserves it. -- oh god the possum ew ew EW -- Bubba Ho-Tep! <3 <3 <3 -- "Who's in it?" "Bruce Campbell." "Who?" *gasp* SAVANNAH. -- okay unless Melody goes full wolf and murders the hell out of her family I do *not* want to read the pole barn scene I'm just gonna skim until I see justified violence -- "Why're you growling, girl?" KILL 'EM ALL, SWEETHEART -- what no why are they still alive dammit -- "I've been good to you, Savannah. I've treated you like an honest-to-goodness person." Soooo now that you've been nice you get sex? -- "It's certainly my business because I've been the one who's treated you with respect." Just stop while you're way behind, Duane. -- "I was the one who stayed behind, who held you while you bawled." Her eyes narrowed. "And you did it all out of the kindness of your heart, didn't you? You didn't have any ulterior motive." GET HIM. -- "No matter what he does, all guys are evil sex maniacs." Evil sex maniacs? Nope. Some liable to fall for "waaaaah I'm a Nice Guy why won't you sleep with me and give me a chance" bullshit? Yep. -- "But it's possible," he pressed on, "that guys can be good people too." Not any of the ones in this book. gtfo with your whiny entitled 'no *you're* the superficial one' bullshit. And if you so much as think the word 'friendzone'... -- "That'd be fitting," he said, "since I'm the one who got him to sleep." You did NOT just... Do you want a goddamn cookie? She's been taking care of her child for *years* and you think an hour of bedtime stories makes you a hero? -- okay no I'm not done you want her to know you're a good guy, that you're trustworthy, but you're close friends with someone like Weezer? That tells her that *you* are unsafe, because you don't care enough about the hateful shit he says to ever give him consequences. -- 'But Mya knew she had a great body, and that could often contaminate what was between the ears.' Go meet a silver bullet, Glenn. -- ((I do however agree that Patricia Arquette in True Romance was *amazing*. I haven't seen that in forever. Need to rewatch sometime.)) -- 'on his own he knew he'd never have the guts to separate one of them from the herd' THEY'RE NOT GAZELLES, DICK. -- 'Was the man gay?....How did one go about turning down a homosexual proposition?' Y'know what, I...yeah. Go away, Duane. Keep going. Further... -- Duane as a kid painting the picture window white the protect the birds is so sweet. -- "Oh, shut up for a second, would you? You're either staring at my tits or treating me like I'm the Queen of England. Just pretend I'm a person for once." SAVANNAH. -- "Great," Duane said. "Time to trot out the negative male stereotypes." "Duane?" "What?" "Shut your goddamned mouth." "What if I don't want to?" "I'll rip off your nut sack and drop it down the garbage disposal." We're going to have a spring wedding. -- "It's like I need a goddamned translator." No you don't. You just don't want to hear what she's saying. Shut up and take the opportunity, because she didn't have to give you this chance. -- "We didn't choose this. .... But we can make the most of it." Um, Joyce? Honey? You okay over there? -- Melody!! Hi sweetheart -- "I know what she's trying to say," Barb said, "because she said it. We don't need you to interpret for us." BARB c'mere I'm gonna hug you -- Man, the rest of that chapter. Barb you are my current favorite please live -- "I'm tired, Joyce. Down to my bones. I want some rest. Plus, I think I ate a muskrat." *cackling* -- someone go shoot Weezer repeatedly and *fast* -- "Please don't hurt me" too fucking late for that you abusive s.o.b. die horribly and take most of your kids with you -- oh shit Melody *no* you deserve a chance at life without them -- Short Pump ((Duane)) glared at Barb. "What do you have against him? You ever talked to him?" YOU HAVE. You know what Weezer's like; you know that she's right. -- "Why not appeal to my better nature? Maybe I'll spare you if I see the error of my ways." "I don't need sparing." godDAMN Barb -- This fight scene holy shit -- 'And even if Weezer had spoken offensively to Savannah, at heart he was the same tortured kid he'd always been.' 1) IF?!?!? 2) yes, yes, poor baby, bullied as a kid and so had no choice but to grow up and become a misogynistic predator. I'm crying for him right now. -- I was hoping they were the Three! -- oh god Jessica and the kiddos *are* dead dammit Weezer why are you still alive -- Joyce is so damn brave. -- Duane hitting a werewolf with a chair. You dumbass. <3 -- BARB. I'm composing your superhero theme song as we speak -- ohhhhh shit we found Joyce's trigger -- MELODY FUCK YEAHHHHH -- 'Duane glanced down at Barb's bloody shirt, and wondered how the woman wasn't dead yet.' Because Barb, that's how. -- noooooooo I can't believe I have to go around with a 'Justice for Barb' pin AGAIN -- 'To kill Weezer, which wouldn't be such a loss.' I love that you're snarky even as a werewolf, Melody. -- 'And by God, Melody thought, she wasn't escaping from one prison to willfully enter another. Fuck that." If Melody dies I riot. -- Joyce. You did so, so well. -- 'Enabler. The word imprinted itself in his mind's eye. You're an enabler. You're part of the problem, one of the reasons why scum like Weezer end up victimizing innocent kids.' Good, NOW you get it! -- NO Savannah never turn your back until it's definitely dead did you never watch Halloween -- Duane a whole bunch of children are about to be massacred this may not be the time to make notes on a woman's butt -- 'With a start, Duane realized Weezer was eyeballing the children. His chest was heaving, there was an unwholesome look in his eyes. And...holy shit. Weezer had an erection.' So we're done defending him now? Maybe should've listened to Barb and Savannah when they told you what he was? Should've listened to Weezer himself when he made comment after comment? DO BETTER NEXT TIME assuming you live through this -- Miss Hayward you'd better get Teacher of the Year -- 'You should have helped him see more. You should have believed in him.' Not your job. You were busy raising a kid, and he was still hanging around Weezer. He's an adult. -- Wolf Land, in which Savannah, Our Lady of Improvised Weaponry, fights off a werewolf with a goddamned BELT -- 'He had just about resolved to drop-kick the yellow werewolf in the face like some flabby Caucasian Bruce Lee' *snerk* -- Melody stopped to make sure the dogs didn't starve I love 1) amazing werewolf. SYNOPSIS:
OTHER VOICES, OTHER TOMBS is an anthology packed with unsettling stories from the finest independent authors in the horror genre. This collection runs the gamut of styles, including everything from literary horror to creepypasta. Ania Ahlborn, Kealan Patrick Burke, Michael Wehunt, Mercedes Yardley, and Gemma Files are widely considered some of the best authors working in dark fiction right now. Also included are stories from NoSleep Podcast legends: Gemma Amor, JD McGregor, and Michael Whitehouse. Anthologies are pretty much my favorite thing: I can take a few minutes between Stuff That Needs Done and read a story, and usually discover a new author or three along the way. This one doesn't disappoint (as soon as I saw Kealan Patrick Burke and Ania Ahlborn this thing was on my Kindle within a minute). My favorites from this one are: The Second Hand by Kealan Patrick Burke The Governess by Ania Ahlborn Fly Away, Little Fledgling by Michelle Garza and Melissa Lason Can We Keep Him? by C.W. Briar And, trigger warning for rape in the third story, Urban Moon. It's a very well-written piece, but it's a difficult read emotionally, so be careful with yourselves. Reactions/favorite lines for each: ((spoilers below)) THE SECOND HAND: -- 'I wish I'd have run to him and hugged him. I wish I'd found any reason at all to stay home with my parents where it was always safe.' -- 'Childhood is about raw wounds, the scars the armor of adulthood.' -- The Friday Night Movie Nights is such a sweet tradition; I love this family. And oh god something so horrible is going to happen the foreshadowing is killing me -- 'Because a truth of which I'd only recently become aware was that for all his hatred of his brother, robbie was slowly becoming him. As sure as a hammer will a nail, his brother's fists were driving meanness into him, and I was as afraid of what my friend would become as much as he feared what Dougie already was.' Yeah sure I wasn't using my heart anyway go ahead and stomp on it. -- the girl in the pond is one hell of a creepy visual no wonder this kid is scared. LISTEN TO THAT FRIGHT KIDDO IT IS TRYING TO KEEP YOU ALIVE -- 'I want to believe I'm overreacting but if so, then why hasn't the girl moved since we got here? If you say fear, okay, she's afraid, but tell me, then: why is the water running up her body instead of down? Fear can't alter physics." GYAH -- HAVING FLASHBACKS TO THE THING NOW THE GOVERNESS -- Oh man, I remember the new-mom panic so hard. -- "Pheebs, you need to relax." Way to be helpful to your upset wife, dick. -- 'Sometimes the night vision would cut out during his staring episodes and when it would click back on, Harrison--with his pupils shining like the eyes of an animal caught in oncoming headlights--would be grinning a disconcerting, toothless smile.' so THAT image is going to haunt me forever -- 'It forced her mind into worst-case scenario mode, because what if the baby had spit up and was now choking to death while lying on his back? What if he'd managed to roll onto his stomach and wasn't able to breathe?" Hello there past me how're you doing? -- oh no open closet door this story is going to give me a heart attack I still have not recovered from Stephen King's The Boogeyman -- Feed your husband to the closet thing sweetie, you'll be better off. -- 'Everything was going to be fine.' *bites nails* -- ((I've heard a lot of wonderful things about Ania Ahlborn but this is the first thing of hers I've actually read; she's stellar)) URBAN MOON -- I want Pen's jacket, it sounds over-the-top and perfect. -- Oh Pen. We'll just send that boyfriend to get eaten by lake-monster-girl from KPB's story. -- The bird imagery in this is very fairy-tale. -- Hey no no just call your husband and say you'll be late do NOT leave Pen there alone -- He seems very nice. WHAT'S WRONG WITH HIM. (hopefully nothing, don't let this be That Kind of story) -- Dammit it is -- Oh shit, no. Come on, there's enough bird references and all in here, at least let her morph into a swan and PECK OUT THEIR EYES -- "This isn't right. It doesn't have any feathers." SWEETIE. -- I will kill Tom and his friend and that officer and the ex and the internet mob and... oh, I know it ends on a more hopeful note but it just fills me with so much impotent rage that that almost doesn't matter, sadly. A CIRCLE THAT EVER RETURNETH -- The this-is-only-temporary mantra even as he settles further and further into his new situation is so unsettling. -- "Who the hell is Brad?" eeeeeeeeeek BURY ME IN THE GARDEN -- Poor Ivy. -- 'for the Crone' File under "this is not gonna end well" -- 'Jefferson would not have cowered under the threat of evil. And if I was intending to honor his courage, then neither should I.' Must. Protect. Small. Child. -- 'If someone must be surrounded, it might as well be with books.' Amen, kid. -- Owen's dad needs shot. I notice Mr. It Had To Be Done didn't offer *himself* for sacrifice THIS IS HOW IT GOES -- Well THAT'S one way to start a story thanks I'm traumatized -- I like that she also ends up on things like General Weird Shit threads. :) -- AUGH it's Invasion of the Body Snatchers but WORSE ((also this is a fantastic apocalypse idea)) -- 'For a century or so, the world was small enough not to be afraid of. It got smaller and faster and faster and smaller, 'til you could hold it in your hand. 'Til you could watch it from morning to night without ever having to go anywhere. That's never going to be true again.' -- 'Humans are amazingly adaptable creatures, which seemed like more of a compliment before I realized, post-Split, it was an equally apt descriptor for rats.' COMFORTABLE GODS -- 'this waiting room of a town' is a great phrase. -- This is going to rev up into extreme body horror isn't it -- I don't quite know what's happening yet but this whole atmosphere is unsettling as HELL -- "I remember myself and I don't care what's in this place. I want to find my husband and go away from here." *heart shatters* -- And the extreme body horror is here IN SPADES hiiiiiii nightmares FLY AWAY, LITTLE FLEDGLING -- 'She never got used to caring for children who were terminally ill, it felt so unnatural to watch their little bodies withering away. It sent her mind to a dark place.' oh look it's time to break for the night -- Okay. Next morning. Fortified by hot chocolate, I press on. -- ohhhhh nooooo Charlotte's the same age as my Kaylee I'm gonna go spike my hot chocolate -- "You're closer to hell than heaven." AAAAA -- "The first time, I took care of my own daughter" Then WHY would they ever assign you to a child's case your bosses suck -- "You're my favorite, Nurse Abbie. I want you to be here when I fly away." **sobbing** -- .....oh SHIT FORGET THE BURNING ISLE -- 'It was Jacob. He must have come back to check on me just before it happened.' oh no. ((and I don't know what exactly's going on here but the concept is 11o% terrifying)) -- Good man, McClusky. -- 'even though we're just following orders' Fuck you Blake. -- "I'm a soldier, son. No time for sentiment. I have to look after my own." Repeat previous judgment call. -- GET HIM KIDDO THREE LANES DEEP -- Ugh, these descriptions already have me feeling overheated and claustrophobic. Traffic jams with AC are bad enough; with none? Nooo. -- At least they don't have small children in the car. *Cujo flashbacks* -- LISTEN TO YOUR SISTER LUCAS -- 'She remembers the body in the trunk of the car.' wait WHAT THE SWITCH -- So a horror take on the Parent Trap. I'm here for this. -- "Abigale...honey, I need you to be honest with me. Where is your sister?" ohhhh dear -- 'Secretly, she wondered how much money she would inherit after this shit-show was over.' Shoulda let your granddaughter kill her, sir. -- 'She held the stuffed bear between them and, for the briefest of moments, Abby thought she saw the ratty old thing nod its head.' NOPE. THE RED ROSE -- "Hey, are you having fun?" she asked. "Loads," Ava replied sarcastically. Oh look it's me trying to socialize in high school. -- 'She needed a clear head. Tonight was going to be special for her regardless..." No wait, probably not me because Ava sounds like she's planning to kill people. -- 'Ava smiled, fingering the paring knife in her back pocket.' Yep, gonna kill people. -- okay there Leatherface YIKES -- This is a really interesting take on the killers-working-together trope. -- 'but unlike most dreamers, Ava didn't hesitate to make the necessary sacrifices.' I suppose that's a very, very generous way of looking at it. -- 'Cindy patted Ava's cheek. "That's right, darling. When you're ready to move the bodies, call me." I love how twisted this is. -- 'I've got you too, she thought.' CREEEEEEEPY (perfect) CAN WE KEEP HIM? -- Penny absolutely needs some consequences for that action, but on the other hand it's exactly the kind of prank that little kids who don't think things through play, and the whole 'you're a devil child' thing is a BIT much. -- "What do they protect us from?" Penny had asked mom after school. "Nothing, darling. It's just superstition." "But why would Dad take our star down? What's wrong with good luck?" "Nothing, but an updated exterior is worth more in resale value than good luck." We'll see how concerned you are about resale value when you have a possessed kid -- 'Mom and Dad did not like her exploring the woods on her own, but she did not like being grounded, which made breaking the rules seem fair.' This is such Kid Logic. Now stop investigating weird animal noises alone Penny, this is how people die in horror movies. -- 'For a moment, Penny thought that the cat's jaw was too loose, and that its mouth was opening in directions that it shouldn't, exposing a surprising number of needle teeth. Then she shook her head and got rid of those weird thoughts. The cat was so cute, and she didn't have any reason for the nervous feelings crawling like spiders down her spine.' YES YOU DO oh man I'm going to have nightmares about this, wake up and see one of my own cats, and die of heart failure. -- Penny, sweetheart. Please talk to your mom. -- 'The wind also played with loose boards on the shed, wiggling them like baby teeth ready to come out in a final, bloody yank.' -- Penny is going to need All The Therapy Forever. ALONE IN THE DARK -- 'It wasn't her first rodeo. She'd long since abandoned feeling guilty for driving with whatever illegal substance inside her system.' Please don't kill/hurt anyone else when you inevitably wreck. -- 'Everything was going to be fine. It was only a little buzz. People get away with this shit all the time.' And Iiiiiiiiiiiiiii would love to smack youuuuuuuuuu -- 'made her start to wish she'd just stayed the night at Em's' gee ya think -- OW MY HEART. SYNOPSIS:
Ten writers are selected for a summer-long writing retreat with the most celebrated and reclusive author in the world. Their host is the legendary Roderick Wells. Handsome, enigmatic, and fiendishly talented, Wells promises to teach his pupils about writing, about magic, about the untapped potential that each of them possesses. Most of all, he plans to teach them about the darkness in their hearts. The writers think they are signing up for a chance at riches and literary prestige. But they are really entering the twisted imagination of a deranged genius, a lethal contest pitting them against one another in a struggle for their sanity and their lives. They have entered into Roderick Wells’s most brilliant and horrible creation: The Dark Game. The setup is very Agatha Christie, and I'm a sucker for "small group of people trapped in a house and bad things happen" plots. Creepy writer's workshop is an added bonus. I loved what this one had to say about creativity and the eternity of the written word, for good or bad. Lines/reactions: ((spoilers beyond this point)) 'She chewed a thumbnail, a hundred horror movies flashing through her head. Why was it always a woman who got hacked to pieces?' I constantly ask the same, Lucy. -- 'Bryan's smirk faded. "I write fact-based survival stories." A corner of Tommy's mouth rose. "Personality like yours, I bet you know a lot about being alone." OHHHHH. (also, I hate alpha-male bullshit like Bryan's. 'next time make sure you don't insult a collegiate wrestler' oh my GOD just go jerk off to a confederate flag somewhere and leave the rest of humanity alone -- 'He wasn't, but he'd rather catheterize himself with a lit sparkler than discuss politics.' lol -- 'Because something is following me, and half the reason I'm here is to escape it?' Hey maybe whatever is following you can eat Bryan instead -- "Why, so they can ask me what went wrong?" Anna sobered. "Your critics can fuck themselves." ilu, Anna. Though you do have a bit of an I'm Your #1 Fan! vibe. -- 'No doubt cataloging some piece of minutiae with which to annoy future readers.' Perfect. -- "You need to get in shape," Bryan called over his shoulder. And you need to take a long walk off a short pier. -- "Before we proceed, you must submit yourselves to me. You must prepare to withstand extreme conditions, both physical and emotional." He's going to suck out your souls so he can maintain eternal life RUN -- oh man that prize though -- "Just what the hell did happen to the other nine writers in the first contest?" What did I just say? Souls got eaten, try to keep up. -- "If you lose, there are always the pills," her agent's voice reminded her. ... "I gave you your shot, and you blew it. You let us all down, little lady." oh sweetheart get yourself a new agent this one is a dick -- (he's not a man) oh shit -- "If you bow at the altar of the right person, you're accorded privileges." She glanced at Lucy. "Like big advances and glowing reviews." C'mon, Elaine, don't be that passive-aggressive asshat. -- 'Elaine gaped at him. She glanced from face to face, searching for an ally.' If not for the aforementioned sniping at your fellow writers, you might have one. -- 'Bryan looked pleadingly at the others, but no one came to his defense.' this is my shocked face -- oookay I thought Anna was an obsessive fan but no, she's SO much worse. -- 'Evan Laydon sniffed and told them his story idea was 'upmarket' and 'high-concept', whatever the hell that meant.' I bet it means a college professor main character has a wrought affair with a student. -- "You have any idea how illegible my handwriting is?" I hear you, Will. -- "It's called The Siren and the Specter" heh -- "I'm not going to discover you sunbathing naked, am I?" "I prefer a two-piece." <3 -- 'No way had Clayton bedded as many girls as Tommy had." Yawn. Just whip them out and measure already, guys. -- 'Suzy, who was seventeen but had the mental capacity of a four-year old.' okay I hate Bryan but you get to die first -- oh Suzy sweetheart -- 'but the memories far, far worse' Yeah, poor baby. Truly, you are the one who suffered here. -- "I'm already comfortable in your presence." BARF -- This scene with Marek and the cop is goddamned terrifying -- 'the man looked younger than he had in the library' I TOLD YOU. SOUL-EATER. -- "I know you had issues with reality, but I never guessed they were this severe." you gaslighting s.o.b. -- "Am I wrong?" "About Bryan and Tommy?" Will asked. "Probably not. About all men.." not the time, Will -- I love Sherilyn. -- "He's all bluster," Will said. Famous last etc. -- ...Rick's mom is a badass -- "Was it illegal when he was only twenty?" I. Hate. You. So. Much. -- 'But like I said, I was only seventeen, and if seventeen sounds old enough to you, please not that Zendie was already twenty-eight.' Ohhhh, Sherilyn. I will not only bitchslap him, I will bitchslap your mom for encouraging this. -- "One secret for every article of clothing." Yeah. All bluster. Nothing to see here. -- 'but the brass door handles gleamed like they'd just been installed' THE HOUSE EATS SOULS TOO -- "Escape now." O_______o -- The thing in the crate from Creepshow! <3 -- ngl I really want Sherilyn to get that money -- 'He still needs water, Will thought.' oh sweetie. Given what type of book this is, you're not going to be rewarded for this, but you're a good kid. -- "I'm not going to tell on you." ...oh SHIT. -- oh god why are Anna and Bryan teaming up they're horrible enough on their own -- 'Could I have stopped what happened to you?' Ummm...yes. -- 'Great girl. Might be the one. But so frigid. So insensitive to his needs.' You have two hands for a reason, Jake. Also, go to hell. -- Justine! :( -- 'She could be abrasive at times, but this? No one deserved this.' Wellllllll (he is technically right, though; she deserves worse) -- "You're our host, not our warden." I like you Sherilyn please run -- "What do you know of power?" "I know that a truly strong person doesn't use it to intimidate." Riiiick. <3 -- "I'm happy to say you behaved exactly as I thought you would." SHERILYN. MY HEART IS YOURS. -- "You just ripped my manuscript apart. I want to make sure Sherilyn is held to the same standards." Lucy glared at Anna. "Why wouldn't she be?" "Her race," Bryan said. As if you two don't suck enough already -- ...okay Evan you've convinced me you can die now. -- yay -- things are ratcheted up to eleven and we are halfway through the book. *bites nails* -- all right, Will's being brought into the group! -- I really, really hope that Justine's ghost shows up and throws Anna from the roof. -- Jack Ketchum! <3 -- "Fuck fear." I'm just going to assume this is from an actual conversation with Ketchum. -- 'He shook his head. "Lucy doesn't need to be saved." Good man. -- Will NO you're a good guy and that is going to get you killed. -- "You were only, what, a third of the way in?" oh Rick honey no. -- okay so as someone with suicidal ideation this scene with Lucy's attempted suicide is HARD. -- "Anti-anxiety," she said. Thought about it. "There's irony in there somewhere." oh sweetie -- "You should not mock me," the maid said. HOLY SHIT -- Will nooooo -- 'of young tourists attacked by carnivorous plants inside an ancient ruin' I understood that reference! -- Will you're alive! -- 'Was it any less than he deserved?' Honey, 1) you were a kid, and 2) he raped and murdered people. 'that poor man' nah -- since you're punchy and hurting I will forgive you the 'gypsy curse' thing. If you get out of this, learn about the fact that that's a racial slur -- "I was a monster," Bates said. "But damned if I was born that way." *Jake Peralta voice* Cool motive, still murder. -- GET HIM LUCY -- Lucy grinned. "Am I wicked-looking?" "You look like a drowned muskrat." Heh -- 'Will said, "I'll go in first." Lucy just gave him a look.' "We can talk about sexism in survival situations when I get back"-- Ellie Sattler, ultimate role model -- 'He could, however, try to vanquish Wells in The Magical King.' He's gonna write his way out. I love it. -- Will stared up at Wells, breath heaving. Then, his face seemed to clear. "You lose, Mr. Wells." Good on you, Will. -- Oh good, new agent. -- Is the Fred Astaire murders villain still out there like Wells said? -- yessssss at least Sherilyn got her wish -- "I was just wondering what it's like to expend so much energy wishing failure on others." THAT'S MY GIRL -- ....question answered. SYNOPSIS:
Thirty years ago, cynical sleazeball director Tito Bronze took a tiny cast and crew to a desolate island. His goal: to exploit the local tribes, spray some guts around, cash in on the '80s Italian cannibal cinema craze. But the vengeful spirits of the island had other ideas. And before long, guts were squirting behind the scenes, as well. While the camera kept rolling... Both the cover and back description promise splatterpunk glory, and the book more than delivers. The characters are (with a couple of exceptions) so offensive and/or obnoxious that you can't wait for the machete. I admit to never seeing Cannibal Holocaust, the movie this book is paying homage to (I am not that hardc0re). Given that, there may be a few references or in-jokes that I missed, but if so, it didn't impede any enjoyment of the book. Lines and quotes: ((spoilers from here on in. Also, forewarning, so much racism in a lot of these quotes. So. Much.)) -------------------- -- If the *prologue* goes this hard I'm kinda nervous about the rest of the book. DAMN. -- 'Cannibal Fury Atrocity', I'm cackling -- "the Amazon has no monopoly on savages" "these Guinea bastards" okaaaaay so both Tito and Roland are creepy racist pricks. *hangs Victim #1 and Victim #2 signs around their necks* -- "I'm writing the script," Jacque said, closing his pencil inside the notebook, ready to talk. The script was halfway finished and it was a long flight. He had the time.' Procrastination at its finest. <3 -- "My exotic jezebel, my starlet for a new age, my mulatto Fay Wray for the 1980s" EW die in a fire Tito -- 'Over the few years he'd been working with him, Tito had always found new and ingenious ways to outdo his own tastelessness.' That's putting it mildly. -- "Oh, I'll just call it back with my magic telephone that can place calls to airplanes." "That is a real thing, you know. It's called a radio and I take it that means we don't have one." Jacque. <3 <3 <3 -- I like each chapter being from a different pov. -- 'She resolved to minimize contact with the crew for the next three days.' An excellent plan, Daria. -- "Why did you let it escape?" he asked Umberto. Yes. I am quite certain this group could have handled catching and killing a wild boar. -- 'He knew full well what Denny was going to do out in the jungle. The mouthy jig was torturing him. *Why did I think that? Jacque was a nice guy.* The need always made him edgy.' orrrrr you're a racist douche -- "I...I'm a diabetic." omfg you dumbass -- oh yay Tito has a gun I see no way this could possibly go wrong -- 'The branch had no give. It didn't bend, it didn't break: it just molted a bit more, revealing a smooth white interior. It wasn't a branch at all. It was a bone. A human femur.' YAAAAAAAAH -- 'How is it possible that Umberto was not making it with one of them right now? At least one of them!' help I don't know who I want to die first -- 'To begin, go back to the village and get a blade.' UM. -- BOIL THE WATER YOU DIPSHIT -- 'The film's pov shots had wheedled their way into his subconscious and kept him awake for three days straight (well, it was either John Carpenter or the speed)' *snerk* -- Denny realized that Tito had told his other two actors much more about the scene than he had translated into Italian for the girl. He had deliberately kept her unaware of what was going to happen.' What shitheels. (and yes, Jacque, that includes you. 'I'm sorry' my ass; if you were honestly sorry you wouldn't do it. I now want Daria and Cynthia to make it out and everyone else can get stung to death by scorpions thanks) -- well dammit. -- 'Nobody does anything until the boy gets more film in the camera.' O______o -- 'She would not back down. She would not stop hoping or fighting.' My girl. -- "Can I at least be allowed to sit down while I listen to this crazy horseshit?" Jacque asked. Heh. Still hate you, though. -- "I'm sorry," she said. "I know this wasn't your fault." There were tears in her eyes.' Cynthia is a far better person than I could ever be. -- "How long since you've slept?" a familiar voice asked at the back of his mind, he almost didn't recognize it at first. It had been so long since he had heard his own voice in his head.' Yikes. -- 'She was going to be tortured and mutilated by an idiot, in all likelihood not even in focus. It figured.' I love you Cynthia, please don't die -- "Fuck you," she said. He probably knew that one, had most likely heard it directed at him by a thousand different women in a dozen different languages.' A very, very safe bet. -- I like that ending for Jacque. I would've been irritated if he'd gotten off the island, after what he helped put Daria through. #DariaDeservedBetter I'm sorry. 😕 This one was a DNF for me.
I loved parts of it- the nod to Tom Savini with Brad's last name was nice; the description of Teddie 'screaming and firing like a bit player in Full Metal Jacket' made me laugh. A lot of the descriptions were wonderful, and the premise is a lot of fun (where else will you ever read the line "She was bringing them a zombie in a gagball and fuzzy handcuffs"?). 😄 Parts I did not love below: I'm just not much for "fleeing across a zombie-infested landscape only to run into human rapists and cannibals" plotlines. I think I got too much of it on The Walking Dead. I had a hard time getting into the protagonist's head, and after descriptions of her captors as "dyke cannibal", "Munchkin enforcers", "minikin abductors", and finally "bull dyke", I didn't really want to. Again, apologies, I really wanted to love this one without reservation. |
A WORLD WITH A BLUER SUNMy reviews are set up a little like live-tweets: I write down lines I like/impressions as I read, and then transcribe. Reviews will contain spoilers, but I'll give a warning before they start. Archives
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